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Monday, August 24, 2009

Luckily, there are even worse parents...

Just when I think I'm feeling like the lowest of the low for calling my daughter a "spoiled princess," I come across the blog of this couple who have recently adopted a 14-year-old girl after fostering her for several years. Keep in mind, they fought to get this kid. And now they're at a point in their relationship where their kid is hitting them regularly and telling her they hate her and they're sick of her. Ha ha! "Spoiled princess" is a compliment next to that.

It saddens me that this blog author came into the blog process all gung-ho about Jewish values and has since seemingly abandoned any semblance of spirituality - at a time when it sounds like that's exactly what she and her foster/adoptive daughter really need.

Speaking of which, YM hit me today in passing because I and I told him that he is a big boy now, and if he is EVER violent with me or any of his siblings, he will be going to live Elsewhere.
Which probably means with my mother. She has no knowledge of this plan... so far. But she has the whole basement free!

That is a Dr. Laura rule; you cannot keep a dangerous child in a home where they can be a danger to your other children. Period.

I don't consider him a dangerous child, but sometimes he can be dangerously impulsive. The difference being motivation - he never means to hurt anybody, but, like Superman as a kid, doesn't know his own strength.

Anyway, at least now I feel like a (relatively) good parent, at the very least for ending each day telling each child how very much I love them.

3 comments:

decemberbaby said...

Wait, they're hitting her? I never quite got that... (although the things they say to her are quite frankly bad enough)

But I'm glad you gained some perspective. As far as I've seen, you're a great mom.

Jay3fer said...

Okay, you're right, and I will probably edit my original post because they are not hitting her... she's hitting THEM. Oops.

However, imo, just from a cursory reading, there are bigger issues in this family including relationship issues, the parents are not united in any way as parents, and, more importantly, I have no idea how this person can work at a job and spend so much time blogging these word-for-word fights etc. In a totally non-constructive, non-learning-from-experience way.

Ted kept a journal of YM's behaviour extremes - anger, hitting, cops, the works - for the last year he was at JDD, and it was so funny and compassionate and loving.

This "Abba" (sorry, that's a male-only word in my world) is the total opposite, from what I can tell, and perhaps a bit of a self-aggrandizing drama king/queen to boot.

Harsh???

decemberbaby said...

No, I think you're mostly right. Just wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything.