Friday, July 31, 2009

Cranky Complaints-Lady and her Crazy Leeeaning Garden Hook!

Submitted at CanadianTire.ca:

friday 014This spring, I purchased a "Moroccan Double Hook" (Product #59-0386-4) from a Canadian Tire store.  It is complete garbage!  Under the weight of two average-sized plant pots (one on each hook), after a couple of days of rain, the flimsy metal tube bent 90 degrees and smashed the flower pots down to the ground, crushing a nearby vegetable bed.
I'd like a refund of the almost $25 I paid for this thing so I can buy a real shepherd's hook that will actually support the weight of two plants.  This hook looks good, but is made of flimsy metal that will not last an average season.
Thanks!”

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

So hungry

But made it through the day.
 
Supper, to break the fast:
 
Fettucine with butter & parmesan
Salmon pan-fried with butter & lemon
Ace bakery bread with butter (umm... a pattern emerges!)
Corn on the cob with butter & salt
 
Butter, butter, BUTTER!
 
Happy rest-of-summer, world!!!
 

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Ottawa Summer 2009 Slideshow

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Hospitality, Richard-style

Welcome to the Kosher Gourmet!!!  Ted’s brother really does know how to make us feel welcome… this time, following Ted’s sole complaint last summer, with an assortment of PAREVE delights (I guess we had a lot of meat last time).  Only to be told we couldn’t eat meat at all. 

We tried our best to show our full appreciation for this incredible bounty of delicious, kosher FOOD!

ottawa2009 003 ottawa2009 004 ottawa2009 005 ottawa2009 011 ottawa2009 012

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Garden firsts and lasts!

These are the first nice carrots I have ever harvested from my own garden!

ottawa2009 002

And these are almost the last peas of the season.  I set aside one plant to be a “mother” to save seeds for next year’s peas (I marked it off with a clothespin so nobody would eat from it).  The other plants are still putting out a few pods here and there, but with the hot weather back this weekend, they’ll probably all die off soon…

 ottawa2009 072

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Tisha b'Av FAQ

Fun, fun, fun trying to explain this fast day to Ted's family...
Everybody always asks the same questions:
 
1)  How long is the fast?
 
25 hours; sunset Wednesday to sunset Thursday.  It's actually a bit longer, because you have stop eating, brush teeth, etc a bit before the time to make sure you don't go over.
 
2)  But you're allowed to have a snack?
 
No; no snacks.  Um... if you were eating, you wouldn't be fasting.
 
3)  But you're allowed to drink water?  Juice?
 
Nope and nope; no water, no juice.  See above.  Fasting is fasting; no loopholes for water or slurpies or freezer pops.
 
4)  What about the kids?
 
Kids don't fast, period.  Though, as they get older and stronger they might be encouraged to fast part of the day.  At this point, both littles are too little to even really be away, beyond "Mommy & Abba are having a taanis (fast) so you have to be extra-helpful."  (that line works a little, but not much, by the way...)
 
5)  What if someone has to eat for medical reasons?
 
So eat!  Consult a rabbi, but in general, you eat whatever you need to keep you healthy.  If you have to take pills or something, discuss it ahead of time with your doctor and rabbi.  There are ways to do it so you're still considered to be fasting.
 
6)  What about you?  Aren't you still nursing?
 
Yup.  I don't do minor fast days, but still observe the two major ones (Tisha b'Av and Yom Kippur) for the full 25 hours.  It's tough, but - for me - doable.  Not everybody can, but I know I can get through it, with difficulty.
 
If you are nursing or pregnant, it's considered better to spend the day fasting and lying down with air conditioning than, for example, exert yourself going to shul and then need to eat or drink.  Shul is optional, even on Yom Kippur, or at least, more optional than fasting. 
 
A lot of women feel it would ruin the day for them if they just had to stay home, but consider also that pregnancy/nursing is (for most women) only a few years out of your life, so you'll be able to go again another year.
 
And then there are the really fun questions nobody asks!!!
 
7)  What about brushing your teeth?
 
Nope!  Verboten, along with showers and even most face and hand washing (except to clean off dirt).  Don't get too close.  Smile, but don't laugh in someone's face.  Try not to yawn.  In shul, give people their personal space; today, they need it.
 
8)  So what do you do?
 
At night on Tisha b'Av, I usually stay home with the kids in bed, sit on the floor, and "lain-along" with this reading of megillas eicha.  That takes about an hour, and then I tidy up & go to bed.
During the day, try not to think about food!
 
So far today, I took the littles to circle time, and since then, while they napped, I have been puttering in the garden.
There are a few video presentations at shul, and I'll probably go to a something there in about half an hour, when I'm finished nummying the baby.
 
9)  What are the minor fasts?
 
This is from memory, since I haven't done these since I got pregnant with Naomi Rivka!
Tzom Gedalya - the day after Rosh Hashana
Asara b'Teves - a week after Chanukah
Taanis Esther - the day before Purim
Shiva Asar b'Tammuz - three weeks before Tisha b'Av
 
There's also one the day before Pesach, but it's only for firstborn men, and even they have a special way around it; I don't think anybody really fasts that day, if they can help it...
 
And, finally....
 
10)  Which major fast is easier, Tisha b'Av or Yom Kippur?
 
Wow!  What a great question!
On the surface, Tisha b'Av is easier because there are distractions (like the computer).  You're allowed to go to work, if you must, and drive, shop for food, cook, and generally go about your normal life, if you have to.
On the other hand, Yom Kippur is more spiritually uplifting.  It's not a SAD fast day at all - done right, it's a very joyous occasion (how happy would you be if you knew you'd finish the day with a totally clean slate, all sins forgiven?).  But if you don't go to shul or immerse yourself in davening, and/or if you have young children at home who still need to eat, it can be a very long, boring, lonely day.  I have always forced myself to go for part of the morning service and to go back for neilah, the final service of Yom Kippur.  At our shul, there's lots of dancing; it's tremendously uplifting.  You almost - ALMOST - don't want the day to end.
Except for being so darned hungry...
 
Speaking of which:  only six hours to go until I can eat!!!

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Friday, July 24, 2009

These aren’t even good!!!

Untitled-1  So why did I just eat a bowl of them??!?  It wasn’t a huge bowl, and they’re not terrible, but a little weird, bulky and ultimately, unnecessary.

Chalk it up to Mysteries of the Universe.

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Done!

I’m done!  It’s done!  I’m done!

temp_happyface

Now to make Shabbos…

Shabbos?  What’s Shabbos?

And why do I have a hunch my oven’s acting flaky?  When I took out the banana cake, and raised the temperature from 350 to 375 for the challah, it read 400 for a minute.  I turned it off and hope, hope, HOPE that the flakiness was transient.  I just repaid our friend-neighbour Judy for the last oven repair.

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I am an orphan with big manga eyes

Chas v’shalom!  But look at those big blue eyes.  I brushed his hair, for a change, which left him slightly sleepy and dazed.

bathfri 001

Wrestling with Naomi.  Two damp, ready-for-naptime kids!

 bathfri 003

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Summertime Frap-u-chee-lo

bathfri 006Dunno why, but that’s what I’m calling this!

4 frozen coffee cubes, microwaved with

2 tsp condensed milk

until hot – stir ‘till well-blended.

Top up with

6 frozen coffee cubes and

enough milk to reach the top.

Looks like poetry, tastes like memories of my first grown-up iced coffee summers at the Roasterie in Calgary…

If only summer would arrive here, and stay long enough to ripen my tomatoes!

Watch; they’ll all turn red the minute I step on the plane to Calgary.

YES, I’m working, I’m writing.  Gaack.  This is so horrible, it’s not funny.

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Naomi, reading a book to Gavriel Zev

"A ... is for apple; B... is for tomato."
 
Me:  "What?" (poke head in from kitchen) "Hmm... I think that's a BALL."
 
"Mommy!  We're pretending it's a tomato, okay?"

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Brown baby

Naomi Rivka:  "I call this my brown baby."
 
Me:  "Which one is it?"
 
"This one."  Holds up doll.
 
"Oh, because it has brown hair?"
 
"And brown eyes."
 
"Like us:  brown hair and brown eyes.  Like you, and like me."
 
"Like me.  Your hair is mostly white."
 
(((gaaah!)))
 
"What?  Where?"  (whip off tichel; good thing we weren't at the mall!)
"Where's white hair?"
 
(she pokes at my head, pulls one strand away from the others)
 
"Your hair is so thin, most of it looks like it has no colour."
 
(look in mirror:  brown, brown, brown... not a single grey hair here, I swear!!)
 
Weird.

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Working

Shh… genius at work.  Okay, just me and my muzzy-from-baby brain.

temp_necksign 

But still:  a deadline is a deadline!

(post-it freely plagiarized from this blog)

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Borsalino...

Just came across this while thinking about hats for YM for his new yeshiva...
 
 
 

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Uncle

I never got a picture of my father's Uncle Yossel who we visited in Israel.  He looks just like my zeidy, but older, paler and kind of smooshed.  Shorter, fatter.  I remember my zeidy as very tall, though he was probably just normal adult size, and very strong, which he definitely was.  With tzitzis on the outside, which my grandfather, his brother, wouldn't have been caught dead wearing at all
 
We visited on the Wednesday we were there, but my (father's) Auntie Chana had yahrzeit that day and was in a hurry to get to the cemetery (I was amazed that her parents were buried in eretz Yisrael; most of her generation from Europe don't have graves to visit).
 
I put off taking a picture and finally, as we were getting up to go, I said, "can I just take a picture?"  And she said "on Monday."  We were going to go back on Monday with Ted and the littles, and so we'd take the picture then.
 
By Monday, we were sitting shiva in Canada (Auntie and I now have yahrzeit the same day).  So no picture.
 
Why am I thinking of this now?
 
Because YM's rosh yeshiva, deeply interested in the roots of the apparent out-of-the-blue no-yichus iluy that is my son (ha!  if he only knew!), asked for Uncle's phone number to call him and see if he could dig up anything about the family.
 
For which I'm grateful.  Between my no-Yiddish and barely-any-Hebrew, our conversation while we were there was kindergarten-level stuff:  the weather, days of the week, basics of who is in my family (I thoroughly confused them a few times with that!). 
 
I did casually mention that Ted converted a few days ago... drat.  Shanim, must remember, years is shanim.  Not yamim.
 
So we didn't get to chat and I would love to know anything about that side of the family, while he's still around, while someone's willing to ask.
 
But what really stirred me today, what made me smile, is that the rosh yeshiva called with a preliminary update (he's wonderful, he really is; I wish I wasn't always rushing to cook supper or take care of kids when he called.  I wish he had email, but then, he'd never use email.)
 
The preliminary update:  he couldn't talk to Uncle, who was resting, but Auntie was pleased to hear that YM is going to a good yeshiva next year.  BUT... (big smile)... why wasn't he learning by Ger or another chassidishe yeshiva?
 
Big smile.
 
Why am I smiling?
Why do I care so much about these obscure relatives I've only met once?
 
First, because they were very important to my father.  My grandfather completely severed that spiritual connection to our family's past.  I think even my not-always-religious father suspected that was not the right way to pass things on to the next generation.
 
Second, because nobody in my family, NOBODY, through all these years... nobody ever openly cared about my spirituality at all, one way or another.
Nobody said anything, for better or worse, about what all this baalas teshuva stuff was about, spiritually.
 
And I was so scared that when I met uncle and auntie, that they wouldn't really care either.  I have met a lot, a lot of religious people here who take spirituality for granted.  Who don't really mention God, or who mention him in passing, like "baruch Hashem."
 
These folks in Israel, this couple in their 80s, I'm telling you, they are the real thing.  They live lives of poverty in a teeny tiny apartment across from the Ponovezh yeshiva in Bnei Brak and they care deeply, deeply about what God thinks.  They have a deep, meaningful connection to him and feel his presence in every aspect of their lives.
 
And they care so deeply that out of the spiritual train wreck that was my grandfather's cocky overconfidence that the ultimate redemption would come through communism (sheesh, it sounds so naive now) and secular humanism (and, I suppose, out of the physical catastrophe that destroyed much of the family in the shoah), some family is emerging, slowly, tenuously (I sure feel tenuous most of the time) and slowly, we're coming back.
 
Auntie told me (I think!) that I can rely on Hashem, that I can trust him, talk to him, daven; he's in charge of the whole world.  No relative has ever told me stuff like that.
When I was growing up, those weren't things Jews said.
 
I think I was worried that the whole Israel thing was one of my father's deathbed crazy ideas and it wouldn't be meaningful.
Sara, who is sometimes wise, called me on it before I went, because of hauling the kids into a war zone.  Fair enough.
And I think I had a damn good answer for her, and at least she stopped calling me on it and hugged me goodbye when we left (I think).
But I was worried that she was right; it was crazy, it was me following my father's crazy orders, that it wouldn't be meaningful.
That one more aging, ailing relative can't turn my life around.
 
And perhaps it hasn't turned my life around completely, meeting them.
But knowing I come from somewhere... that someone cares... that we're connected...that my spiritual life and those of my children matter in a way that is so far beyond just us...
Priceless.

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Car rental AARGH!

Trying to arrange a car for our trip to Calgary in 2 weeks... you'd think a "Canadian owned and operated company" would quote its prices in CANADIAN dollars, right???
 
But no.
 
And the guy was so dumb about it when I finally caught on.  (they were too good to be true!)
I was, like, "is that in Canadian dollars?"
"No, that is in dollars."
"Well, we call our currency dollars, so you can't just say 'dollars' if I tell you I'm in Canada, travelling to Canada, renting a car from a Canadian company.  Because to Canadians, 'dollars' means Canadian dollars.  So the total you just gave me - after I said that I live in Canada, and use Canadian dollars - is that rate in Canadian dollars?"
"No, that price is in dollars."
 
Australians, too, I bet.
 
Morons.

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YM's distance ed registration for September

Well, this was the easy part! 
Slowly, slowly... three courses last year was SO hard:  I cannot imagine how we will cope with SEVEN.
Plus full-time yeshiva, plus night seder, plus 3 other kids???  :-o
 
He wants to graduate properly, not get some rinky-dinky GED like the other kids... and I do agree that his yeshiva does not emphasize English subject enough to get him into university.
 
But, sheesh.  Just sheesh.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  Seven courses, times 20 modules each... equals 140 modules.  Divided by maybe 35 weeks in the school year = 4 modules per week.  Hmm.  That sounds doable, on paper.  With Yamim Tovim, there are probably more like 30 weeks,  however.  Which is FIVE modules per week.  One per day, Sunday through Thursday, rain or shine.
 
Maybe we can do it, after all... but I already know that some of these modules are going to be huge.
Sigh.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

My son, {yup, ds1!}, was a student ...in the 2008/2009 school year.
 
I would like to register him in the following courses for the coming 2009/2010 school year:
 
 
I wasn't certain whether the civics course (CHV2O) is a half- or full-credit course.  If it's a full credit, we may end up not keeping the Science course, as that is probably too ambitious for one year.
 
Please confirm that you've received this and let me know what else is necessary in order to register.
 
Thanks!
{moi!}

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hmm… trial menu for Ottawa trip next week

One of the reasons I married Ted:  his list-making abilities!

Went to start a food plan for our trip and, of course, he’s already got one going…

 

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Breakfast

At Home

Cereal and
cottage cheese

Cereal and
cottage cheese

Cereal and
cottage cheese

Lunch

Sandwiches in car

Fresh Bagels

Viva Pizza ???

Bagels in car

Dinner

Bakey tato bar

Salmon @ ‘rents

Pasta? Instant something?

Home - seudah

We’re not sure if Viva’s Pizza still exists, however, because there’s now a fleishik restaurant listed instead at the JCC in the Shamash kosher restaurant database.

Which, if you don’t know about it, you should, because it’s a great, comprehensive listing of kosher restaurants just about everywhere!!!

Have I mentioned I hate hate hate sandwiches of almost all kinds?!?

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Cranky Complaints-Lady Plans a Trip!

To: Ottawa JCC, Cc: Israeli Embassy in Ottawa
Sent: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:39 PM
Subject: Upcoming Events

Dear [her name]:

While planning a visit to Ottawa, I noticed two upcoming musical events listed on your website (
http://www.jccottawa.com/pages/upcomingevents.html):  the Ottawa Chamber Music Festival and "Soaring Beyond Expectation - Women in Composition"
.
 
These events are being held next Tuesday and Wednesday, during the nine days leading up to Tisha b'Av, which is next Thursday.  These nine days are widely recognized throughout the Jewish community, as a time of mourning for the original loss of our spiritual and physical homeland (losses not yet entirely regained through the "reishit tzmichat ge'ulateinu," the modern-day State of Israel).
 
I'm surprised that the Israeli embassy, regardless of religious affiliation or lack thereof, would sponsor such an event at this time (would they do it on Yom Hashoah or Yom Hazikaron, also national periods of mourning for the entire Jewish people?). 
 
In future, sensitivity to Jewish issues such as these might be appropriate from what is essentially the sole voice of the Jewish community in our national Capital Region.
 
Thanks for listening!
 
[moi]
Toronto

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What a difference a reservoir makes!

And now, we move on to the sub-irrigated section of the garden, which is veritably THRIVING!

Sub-Irrigated Planter #1:  Children’s Garden Roma tomato, plus store-brought broccoli seedling.

sub-i planter SIP #1 sub-i planter SIP #1 

Both doing great, though the tomato has no fruit forming yet.  But…I just noticed today that the broccoli has a flower!!!

broccoli starting to flower

Sub-Irrigated Planter #2:  “Early Tiny” cherry tomato, plus Sweet Chocolate Sweet Pepper.

 sub-i planter SIP #2 sub-i planter SIP #2 

I love this tomato!  These are the seeds from an unknown cherry-tomato variety I saved from last year (got the seeds from Wintersown.org).  I guess “Early Tiny” isn’t really a good name, because this thing grows into a $#!%^ TREE, taller than me so far.  Like they say, the size of the fruit has no bearing on the ultimate size of the plant. 

It is incredibly prolific, too, perhaps rivalling the Sweet 100 I bought, which has the huge drawback of being a hybrid, meaning I can’t save its seeds.  This is one I will for sure be saving for next year. 

I also gave away a ton of seedlings this spring (2009)… I really hope there are many other gardeners around the GTA enjoying watching these yummy tomatoes ripen (or maybe even better gardeners than myself actually eating some by now!).

It bears gorgeous, uniformly-sized cherry fruits that ripen on their spurs (8-10 per spur, and I’m using the word spur which I just made up because I don’t know the real word!) one after another in the most beautiful rainbow spectrum.  Last year, they were my most reliable tomatoes, week after week!

Here are this year’s so far:

early tiny cherry in sub-i SIP #2

Argh!  I cannot find last year’s… so I shall have to download it from Facebook, where it was my profile picture at the time!

temp_last year tomatoes

Anyway, I suspect this thing would grow fine in a pot of sand.  In a sub-i planter, it is growing into a monster and I am hoping for tons of yummy fruit!

Sub-Irrigated Planter #3:  Ildi tomato, plus Sugar Baby watermelon

sub-i planter SIP #3

Tomato doing great!  Flowers, no fruit forming yet.  However, the watermelon isn’t doing much of anything.  Perhaps because I felt sorry for a “spare” Ildi tomato seedling and stuck it in the corner of the pot, where it’s probably depriving those poor watermelons of every hope of sustenance.  I really must get that seedling out of there before it takes over the pot!!!

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SFG update – good, bad, ugly

Alright.  A quick update in case anyone cares.  Bad, bad, bad.

They are light-deprived, nutrient-deprived and everything is doomed.

But I love them anyway!

Square Foot Garden Bed #1:

sfg bed #1 diag

Corn, beans and assorted melons are slowly, slowly starting to crowd out the first generation.  However, I cut back the leaf-minered chard to see if it would grow nice, unminered new leaves and sure enough, it’s actually looking quite edible, there in the back row. 

The peas were starting to die back, and I was getting ready to pull them out, except the ones I’m saving for seed, but now, because the weather is cool, some are starting to bear again.  Aargh!

Square Foot Garden Bed #2:

  sfg bed #2 diag

All that lettuce!  And now that it’s been hot and some bolted, I’m scared to eat it!  I bought some clearance cabbage and brussels sprouts seedlings at Fortino’s Garden Centre closing (2/25 cents), so I will try to pull out all the lettuce and start over with those cool-weather crops.  We shall see!

Carrots are coming along decently; better than mine ever have, anyway.  In the back row where you can’t see them, four tomato plants are actually starting to bulk up.  But no sign of flowers or fruit on those ones, yet.  My container tomatoes always do WAY better, probably because of my impromptu homemade soil mixes…and because they’re situated in sunnier areas of the garden.  :-(

Square Foot Garden Bed #3:

 sfg bed #3

The back row tomatoes are finally growing!  As my mother pointed out, “too late for them now anyway.”  So we’re not going to bother putting up the trellis for them.  If they happen to grow tall enough to get floppy, I can always sneak onto the neighbour’s property and tie them (with something soft like used nylons) to the chain-link fence.

The peppers in the front row are doing okay.  Just okay.  Grr.

And the carrots are runty and bitter.   I pulled one and it was forked.  But Naomi loves them and nibbles them right out of the ground (I rub the dirt off first).  I love the fuzzy foliage, but am just about ready to declare myself an utter failure in the farmer business.

mini-peppers

The highlight of the whole SFG thing right now is my long-suffering overwintered pepper plant, which is finally enjoying a bit of the warm weather she cherishes.   Love that orange tint – so tempting to pick it, but I think I’ll try to let it go all the way red.

There are four peppers ripening; one orange, one yellow, and two green so far.  This seems to be about as bit as they get.  I just hope it doesn’t taste awful or disappoint us in some other way, as so much garden produce has so far this year…

Blah.  What a downer!  But don’t worry; my next post will be about the sub-i planters, which are doing great!!!

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The long and winding

new hose reel winderOkay, dumb.  I pulled this hose reel out of the trash a while ago and it’s been sitting at the side of our house because it didn’t come with the 2-foot length that you use to attach it to the faucet.  So I had a mental note in the back of my head to pick up a short hose whenever I had a chance, maybe in the trash or something.

Me and my mental notes.

So of course, time passes and the hose reel becomes a permanent, useless fixture at the side of the house.

Well, not entirely useless.  We wound the hose onto it last fall, which was nifty but entirely non-functional.  But at least it meant we could shovel the driveway without running into loops of hose.

Yes, last fall.  Because I just figured out - you know where I picked it up from the curb, meaning to do something with it, and never getting around to it…?

It was on my way to my friend Charlene’s baby shower.

For her twins who are now two years old.  While I was pregnant with my baby who is himself turning two in a couple of months.

So when my mother asked if I wanted any hoses, I naturally said NO!  My father’s hoses are mostly known for the charm of their ultra-frugal homemade patches.  I pictured mismatched hose lengths tied together with dental floss.

But I did mention that I was looking for a 2-foot length WITH both ends attached.  She didn’t think she had one, but then the first object she grabbed and pulled out as she rummaged in the garage was… a 2-foot length of garden hose, not brand-new, but perfectly mended, just waiting to be used.

Thanks, Daddy.

Naturally, it works perfectly.  Not a drip or untoward spritz from the thing.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to wind up the hose and have it sitting there neatly, all ready for action.

Okay, at the moment, since I watered out back, it is sitting lazily all over the driveway.  But I’m going to go out there and wind it up, I promise!  How could I not, now that it’s so easy?!

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July Garden Highs and Lows

fallen garden fairyLow, low, low would be the accidental tree-branch falling on one of the hanging side-door Ikea planters, breaking the hanger it was hanging from, toppling the whole thing upside-down, and de-spiking one of my ooltra-tacké Garden Fairies.  (it’s the Rake Fairy)

The good news is that these were my “indestructible”, “bullet-proof” planters made up of the only plants I could find (creeping Jenny and ribbon grass) that could withstand conditions in these terribly small, impractical pots. 

fallen garden potsThere they are on the bench right now, and you can see that while one looks a little flattened, the other two have taken their licking and kept right on ticking, not much the worse for wear.

And the HIGH more than makes up for it:  my seemingly ever-bearing raspberries!  And I do mean ever!

I thought, based on the last two years, that they’d produce a single crop in early summer and another in fall, but it turns out my old wise friend Emily (and I mean old in the sense of she’s been in my life forever, and wise in the sense that she’s always known way more than me) (and she’s an English teacher who would undoubtedly want a comma in this sentence somewhere, so here it is).  Was right.

raspberries - bearing and bearing!Mine, like hers, seem ready – now that they’ve reached maturity – to bear continuously on old vines from July until fall.  The new vines are just hanging around not really making fruit yet.  Now I don’t know whether they will produce any this year or wait ‘till spring.

Every day, we get about a handful of raspberries, which I share with the kids, so it’s not a ton, and Gavriel Zev always screams when we’re finished and tries to pick the unripe ones.raspberries - bearing and bearing!

But it’s really, really nice having a reason to go back there every single day, despite the aphids and the sad, sad state of my sun-deprived, nutrient-deprived SFG beds.

But that’s a downer for another post!

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Beautiful Day in the (Farmville) Neighbourhood?

fvlogoNo value judgements for what follows, please!  We’re all friends here, right?!?

I have become slightly addicted to the World’s Stupidest Game on facebook.

The “game” is that basically you run a small farm by planting crops, collecting eggs from animals, etc.  Fun, wow!  Wheeeee!  Eggs!

But if you get really good at the game (I’m at Level 11), you can expand your farm to be able to plant even more pictures of crops and collect even more imaginary eggs from your cartoon animals.

The catch – if it’s not enough of a catch that you’re wasting moments out of every precious day playing this moronic thing – is that you can only expand your farm by adding eight neighbours.

I currently have only three neighbours (of whom I only know two in real life).

That’s because the game is deathly dull… and I am such a snob, I only associate with smart people.   And all the people I know are too smart to play it.

BUT here’s how you can help if you’re reading this!  You don’t have to play the game, I promise, just sign up here and add me as a “neighbour”.  Pleeeeze???

Oh, I may occasionally send you something exciting like a grapefruit tree or a cow, but I promise, you really never, ever have to play.

I wouldn’t wish this thing on an enemy, let alone a loyal (facebook) friend like you!

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So is there a hierarchy?

frig 2009-07-20 002

In this wacky world of stay-home moms, is there a hierarchy? 

There certainly is a spectrum.  Many mamas mean different things when they say they’re home with their kid(s).

For me, it means we are home.  If Ted is out, I am in.  When I was still teaching, I arranged most of my classes for days and times that Ted could stay in.  I still do for my own dentist appointments, etc.

There have been a few times my mother or Sara had to babysit, but we’ve never had to hire a non-family babysitter to make money.  Thankfully, because it probably would have cost us more than we were earning.  But also because it’s family… there is almost always a family member with the kids.

Of course, there were a few times before Pesach – and at other times - when our friend-neighbour Judy would come take out one or both of the little kids.  I guess she’s not family, but maybe if you stretch the definition a little… she’s known them since birth and is certainly around enough to almost count.

Anyway, I figure these minor handings-over of the kids aren’t enough to nullify my stay-home committment (ha!  weasel word!).

But what about a paid babysitter, a few hours a week?

What about a preschool, a couple days a week?

What about a full-time or part-time nanny who’s there just in case you need to go out shopping or whatever?

There’s a stay-home mama with two kids (not especially burdensome ones, that I’ve seen) who used to bring her nanny to shul with her.  Every time a kid got a little uncomfortable or whiny, during shul or the kiddush, the parents would just hand it over and carry on.  That’s got to be somewhere on the spectrum.

So I’m wondering if there’s a hierarchy.

At what point are you no longer a stay-home mama?  Is it just the second you accept a job outside of the home during your child(ren)’s waking hours?  What about charity work?  What about “ladies who lunch?”

What percentage of the time do you have to remain tethered to your kids before you lose your “stay-home mom” status –slash– badge of honour?

What percentage before the other stay-home moms begin to sneer that you’re not really staying home the way they are?

I’ll admit:  when we used to go to our attachment parenting playgroup, I’d get shocked when the babies started approaching that 1-year deadline when all the mamas around here go back to work (in the U.S., I guess it’s probably earlier), and they’d start looking for either a nanny or a daycare who would continue “parenting” their kid(s) with the attachment principles they’d applied so diligently in those first twelve months.

And I’d be like:  good luck!  They may be cloth-diaper-friendly, and they may hug the kids and play warm music and offer vegan, emission-free stuffed animals, but they will never, NEVER be that kid’s mama or dad or even a grandparent or loving-yet-ever-cool aunt.

I still think that, when I see nannies trudging around with little ones in Baby Bjorns.  Would I even want my child having that level of face-to-face, almost skin-to-skin bonding with the hired help?

Just a few thoughts with question marks at the end during a much-needed break.  Naomi crashed on the way home from our morning circle time and we had to walk her bike home together.  Quick nummies and they were both out like lights, just after noon.

I’m hoping to hang some laundry and then take off before they wake up – hee hee hee.

Oh, and I don’t lose my cred because Ted’s here.  He’s a stay-home dad… for today!

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Feeling the pinch: it's all about the ratings!

Well, apparently my second-most popular post at the moment is the one about pinching tomatoes!
(the most popular is my Windows Live vs Picasa review post, which I have updated a few times in response to comments)
 
Expect to see many tomato-pinching-related posts in future!
I LOVE pinching tomatoes!
I even do it when I'm at other people's houses, just walk right up and shave their tomatoes' armpits, too.
 
It's kind of like coleus... once you know that they're not supposed to flower, that you are supposed to pinch them down to keep them bushy, you can't walk through somebody's garden and just smile and nod at the blue spikes of coleus flowers.  It's a compulsion:  you must DO something about it.  Or at least, I must.
 
My secret pleasure about pinching tomatoes:  I usually manage to get the suckers when they're tiny, but every once in a while, with twelve tomato plants or more on the go, I miss one and the sucker manages to attain a decent size (like in the original tomato-pinching post).  And I love it!  It is at once a thrill and a horror to heartlessly snap off a living section of this coddled tomato plant that I have painstakingly raised from seed.  It feels so brutal; I tell the plant it's for its own good...

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Potato Disappointment, Year 3

floppy side door potatoesSo a few weeks ago, one of the hanging grocery potato bags flowered, and then the vines got very long and drooped.

So I waited, and the vines got droopier, and finally, on Friday, I thought, “there must be some potatoes there by now.”

Well, there were.  Some.  Maybe six?

Not counting a few little pebble-sized spuds, here’s what I got from the entire bag.  Nice foliage… almost zilch underground.  :-o

 DSC04273 DSC04279

The cucumber (in the right-hand picture) was disappointing also.  I was lazy and didn’t check which type it was (marketmore or Straight 8) but it was unpleasantly bitter.  I was surprised, because the cucumbers we’ve had from the garden in past were always way sweeter than supermarket ones.

farmday 030 Two explanations I thought of:  despite the fact that the cuke was growing in a self-watering hanging planter, I was perhaps a bit inconsistent about water.  AND I guess I didn’t really wait for the cuke to ripen fully.

BUT I don’t think those could be the main reason.  Because I have watered inconsistently before and still gotten cukes.  When there’s too little water, they just fall off, they don’t ripen nicely and look as cute as this one does!  And even when I harvest them underripe, they usually taste okay.  I mean, what are pickles, if not underripe cucumbers?  (hmm… or are they dwarf cucumbers?)

I am consoling myself by thinking that cucumbers are (I think!) native to the middle east and would probably grow happily in a self-watering planter, even on a balcony, in Israel.

DSC04276To top off all this disappointment, here’s the yuck part about growing potatoes.  You’d think the original “seed” potato would somehow manage to tastefully disintegrate into the soil:  ashes to ashes, etc. 

Maybe sometimes it does, but mine usually just hang about turning to MUSH.  They wrinkle, they shrivel, but inside, they remain, essentially, liquified potato.

How do I know?

Because each year, I manage to plunge at least one finger straight into the heart of one in my desperate attempts to find nice, fresh, yummy new potatoes.

Somehow, I will put all this disappointment behind me.

I still have quite a few more cucumbers coming, plus one hanging grocery bag and two buckets full of potatoes, which are maybe doing something a little more than this grocery bag did.  Hey, maybe I’ll complain to the President’s Choice people!

Oh – the big plus of the hanging-bag planter is that it WAS indeed easy to empty (just dump it out somewhere you want a bunch of compost!).  And then it was super-easy to sift through the compost for new potatoes.  Maybe it would have been easier if there were more than SIX potatoes in the entire thing. 

Drat.  Perhaps I am doomed to never harvest a satisfying quantity of delicious homegrown potatoes.

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Beach Outing

In an attempt to build family togetherness, my desire to spend a day at the waterplay area of the zoo thwarted by rather cool, dank weather, I took all the kiddies to the beach!

We have kind of a system:  I put one big kid in charge of drinks, snacks, etc., while the other is more or less responsible for getting the little ones out of the house and into the car.   Each big kid is responsible for their own sun hat… ha.  That one is like pulling teeth.

It was almost pointless to put sunscreen on everybody, because the day was so dismal, but it actually worked out well because Naomi Rivka whined so much that the big kids couldn’t take any more and just put theirs on cheerfully.

So here we are on the beach:

beech 007 beech 010 

After a while of bird-watching, stone-sorting, stone-flinging, inukshuk-building and more thrilling waterside fun, we took off for the amazing, fenced-in playground at Kew Beach.

I don’t usually say much about playgrounds, for the same reason that spit has no taste:  we spend so much time in them, I barely notice them.  But I love discovering new, exciting playgrounds, like the one at High Park, or this one. 

Apparently, we went here twice last summer, but I guess, with a 6-month-old baby, it was all a bit of a blur.  Also, there is a large wading-pool area where we spent most of our time the first time we went last year… and that, because of the strike, is not an option at the moment.

I love this huge, all-ages climbing “castle” right in the middle!  Reasonably accessible, it has various ways of getting up that are a challenge for a wide range of abilities!  Gavriel Zev even eventually found his way to the top.

Plus, there are the same amazing tunnels underneath the structure that we enjoyed at the play castle in High Park.  What would ordinarily be waste space or big, boring gaps, are these amazing, secretive hidey-holes and dead ends that (I believe) let kids use the space in really imaginative ways.

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Plus, we found this amazing, entire-family seesaw!!!  Instead of just one seat, there’s a bench on each side that can hold two or three people, plus a big square platform in the middle, in case you have more than six in your family!

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Everything about this playground is built with a huge number of kids in mind.  Instead of just a single little playhouse a kid can climb into, there are a few in a row:  maybe three or four?  There are also three little “canoe” boats, a few swings, and two more-conventional all-metal climbing structures structures in addition to the main wooden “castle”.

Maybe we’d get sick of it if we lived next door, but we definitely all left wanting to check it out again soon. 

Oh, except YM, who wandered off while we were still on the beach.  We looked everywhere for him before leaving.  I figured he knew where the car was, knew where the playground was and, if all else failed, could find his own way home.  But we really DID look around for him, despite Elisheva’s insisting that I was abandoning him.

Anyway, he finally did catch up to us, out of breath, as we were leaving the playground (see?  he knew where the playground was!). 

After having been back to the car twice to look for us (see?  he knew where the car was!). 

Angry, too:  “Where did you go?!  I was right there!”  He insisted he was “right on the bench, where I said I’d be.”  But I purposely checked that bench before we left; I walked past it.  He wasn’t there.  And even if he was (which he wasn’t!), wouldn’t he have noticed four of us walking past him? 

beech 035Me, two running-around girls, a running-around shrieking baby, a heavy thumping stroller on the boardwalk; we’re not exactly subtle when we leave or arrive somewhere.

So anyway.  All’s well that ends well, and here’s everybody, utterly content after their early afternoon of adventure, back at the car at the end of the outing!

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What is STUFF? Why is it so cheap? (or not)

Here's a cute-but-serious video that explains what are, I guess, the basics, in a way that is both entertaining and riveting... and why we should care!
 
So much STUFF in all our lives!  I really need to watch this thing again.

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STUFF from Ikea

So that last post (The Story of Stuff) was actually apropos of this article, which my mother cut out and brought over for me. (I guess she's taken over the article-clipping role from my father... but I kind of miss his homemade lamination)

The article points out how un-green Ikea is, despite the veneer of eco-consciousness (a veneer like most of their "wood" furniture is made of).

And I'm thinking, "who doesn't know this?"
Who doesn't know that Ikea makes stuff cheap at everybody else's expense? That they cut corners - heck, these are the people that pioneered making us grateful about building our own furniture! You come away grateful that they even give you an allan key to put the things together with. ("lucky thing I didn't have to rummage through the toolbox... and hey, I might have had to supply my own rivets! Thanks, Ikea!")

And who that has ever owned Ikea furniture doesn't know that it's NOT made for extended use or passing on to the next generation... it's for "display purposes only," as the fake TVs in their store say. The minute it gets dirty or the veneer chips, or the screw-in legs begin to wobble, of course you're going to turn around and buy a new one.

My "cheaper-than-Ikea" suggestions? Buy a used bookshelf at Value Village or a garage sale; greener still, pick one up at the curb!

Ugh. I hate the word GREEN.
Even before it became completely watered-down, I hated the word GREEN.

That and the letter "E". Have you noticed everything has a letter "e" in front of it now? "We have a great new computer thingy that does something like this thingy in real life - what should we call it?" "I know, I know! How 'bout e-Thingy?"


Oh, and then there's "committment". I hate the word "committment" because it's the ultimate weasel word: you can have a committment to a value, and still not live up to that value. Like a company can say they're "committed to quality", and then happen to turn out a product that's junk. "Whoops! Jeez, sorry about that! I guess we'll have to work harder towards our committment!" Ikea may have a committment to the environment. What that means, in terms of dollars invested... well. Hmm.

(That's also why it's ultimately meaningless to have a "committed relationship." You commit, you try, you fail - oops. But that's a whole 'nother blog post, isn't it?)

So here's my green e-committment for the evening: quit blogging and Facebook Farming and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Will I make it? Dunno. But if I fail, well... oops!

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This little monster…

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Judy likes Toto


"Judy likes Toto." (sideways glance at me; a dare, to contradict her, to tell her "Judy" is only Judy Garland, the real actress who played Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.)


"Judy likes Toto," another sneaky look my way.


Me: "I hear you saying Judy likes Toto."


"Not our Judy." (a friend and neighbour down the street)

"Some people are named Judy."


"I don't think Dorothy likes her name... so... she calls herself Dorothy. She tells everybody her not-real name."


"Why does Dorothy have a tornado?"


Off to read and re-read one of my favourite kids' books, , by one of my favourite authors, Lauren Child. Oops...let's try pasting that link again and see if it works, shall we?


Here's another one of her books that we've loved: a classic, irreverent & funny retelling of Princess and the Pea, The (oops)!

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Shabbos foods and potty mouth!

Dinner:
 
Swiss Steak
Mashpo (organic po's w/skins)
Corn
Veg -?
 
Lunch:
 
Blintzes
Teriyaki Salmonoodles
Hmm - veg?
 
Too tired.  Cannot think.
New twist on that "baby waking up in the middle of the night" crisis:  apparently, if I change him, he goes right back to sleep.  At least he has twice.
I think it's tied in with his potty hang-ups and fears at the moment.
 
I'm using his anatomical soft doll a lot these days to try to get him past it.  Any yogurt or sour cream tub can become a potty, and GZ loves the game of letting the baby "go make."
(of course, he may never eat yogurt or sour cream as an adult!!!)
 
We clap for the baby, take off his diaper, etc., to get Gavriel Zev used to the idea that potties and diapers are a little bit interchangeable, but that we really, ultimately, prefer the potty.  Oy... who knows?  Just thankful - slash - hopeful that this is the last kid I have to go through this stuff with...
 
Speaking of potties:  the potty cracked!  Drat!  Almost fourteen years of kicking it around and NOW where am I going to get a new one???  I have no idea where it came from in the first place.  It's a one-piece along the lines of the small Baby Bjorn potty seat but at a tiny fraction of the price.  Maybe Craigslist.  Maybe Freecycle!  Because I sure don't want to buy a whole new potty for baby #4 who will only use it for a while... drat!

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Yay, I'm a winner!

 
Yay!  Sometimes it's wondeful to be utterly shameless...

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Seeds of an idea

Naomi, in the car today:  "What would happen if you took seeds from a pepper...?  If you took seeds from a pepper that you grew in the backyard, and you took out the seeds, and you saved them until next year and then you planted them, could you grow the same peppers in the backyard?"
 
(Me:  "They would grow, for sure.  Actually, that's how I grew lots of our tomatoes this year, by saving the seeds from last year.  Let's try it!")

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Balabusta at large: Easy No-Touch, No-Mess Challah Rise

I know some people love making challah because it’s  hands-on.  I love it because I’m a bread snob and cannot stand anything but the freshest possible bread, period.

I also know that if you make bread by hand the right way, you won’t get much stuck to your fingers because the dough will be perfect and almost self-cleaning in its magical stick-togetheriness.

But I use a food processor:  I love it.  Sue me.  It’s a 14-cup Cuisinart, and my only sadness about it is that it cannot make a huge enough batch of bread to make a bracha; I have been making two batches and combining them, but was recently told I probably need to make three to make a bracha.  (If you don’t know what the heck a bracha is, skip the preceding.)

Anyway, so I am a hands-off challah baker, most of the time.  I love forming the loaves, but don’t really care about getting down and dirty for the first bits.  So I mix it in the food processor, and then transfer it to a large, no-zip freezer bag, using this miraculous “no-touch” method:

1)  Add about 1/4 cup of flour, more or less, to the empty bag.

challahbag 2009-07-17 0012) Cinch the neck of the bag, trapping air inside, so it looks a bit like a balloon (don’t blow in, because that will add moisture and also because even you probably don’t want to eat challah that marinated in your own “breath moisture”)

3) Now shake, shake, shake.  The flour will magically redistribute itself to pretty evenly coat the inside of the bag.  You’ll still have a clump of flour in the corner of the bag; that’s okay.  It comes in handy when you remove the dough later and need extra flour to help coat your work surface.

challahbag 2009-07-17 0024) Fit the bag tightly over the mouth of the food processor and tip the whole thing upside-down.  Dough should come out slowly but in one piece, knife and all.  Remove the knife (food processor blade).  :-)

5) Gently knot the bag and either rise at room temperature or in the fridge (overnight, then leave at room temperature for 2-6 hours or so until you’re ready to shape the challah).

challahbag 2009-07-17 0066) When dough is finished its first rise, tip it out of the bag onto your work surface (ie table or counter).  It should come out cleanly because of the even thin coating of flour.  Spread the “spare” flour to coat the work surface and/or your hands to prevent the dough from sticking.

7) Don’t knead!  It’s a myth that dough needs a second kneading.  You really don’t want to lose all those fabulous bubbles that you’ve just created (according to my kitchen guru and uber-balabusta Alton Brown, at least).  Just press the dough down a couple of times and it’s ready to start shaping.

8) Shape the dough into whatever you want – braids, crown, a loaf pan, whatever.  Oh, but first, separate an “olive-sized” piece as challah, but without a bracha, unless you’ve made a very large batch.  Place on parchment paper on a baking pan.

9) Here’s the cool part where you get to be ecological and reuse that plastic!  Carefully slice open two sides of the freezer bag.  Spray the finished challah(s) with cooking spray and then lay the now-flat piece of plastic (formerly a freezer bag), flour-side-down on top of the finished loaves.  Leave it somewhere to rise for a while but not too long.  If you leave it too long, it gets all ugly and droopy like a cane toad.  Bad.

10)  Bake for half an hour at 350 degrees.  Or whatever your recipe calls for.  Remove the plastic bag first… and unless you can think of another use for it, throw it away.  But reuse your parchment paper!  I use mine quite a few times, if I can, but throw it away if it’s too eggy or burnty-looking, because then it might transfer a spoiled taste to your food.  And I have never figured out if it can go in the city compost… which is somewhat moot right now because of the strike.

Enjoy!

Point of trivia:  I have read that you’re not supposed to deal with challah or bread-making of any kind the day before you go to the mikveh.  Too great a chance that it will get stuck under your fingernails, etc.  If you have no idea what a mikveh is, forget I said anything!

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Food Rave: One Old, One New

temp_ricebeansNormally, my tastes in food run to… ahem… junk.   But Eden makes these great Rice & Beans varieties that are organic, kosher, ready-to-heat ‘n eat and very yummy.

My favourite is Cajun Small Red Beans, but they’re all quite tasty.  I find they need salt; I add a bit now before heating it up because I know it’ll need it.  Lovely with cheese melted on top, or all by itself!

 

 

And at the total opposite end of the healthiness spectrum, there are these new alcohol-free “mocktails” from President’s Choice, which I picked up for our family BBQ the other day.

temp_mocktail1To be very, very honest, they are basically soda pop for grownups.  A bit less sticky-sweet-tasting than soda; a bit more sophisticated.  I only tried the “bay breeze” flavour, which shows pineapples and coconut on the box but turns out to actually look a bit pink, and it certainly hit the spot of wanting a pina colada type beverage.

Being even more honest:  I added a bit of rum to mine, which made it quite perfect!  I just felt it needed something to attain that level of sophistication which (ahem) a sophisticated consumer such as myself deserves.

(Just a bit:  I swear!  I was driving afterwards, so it was literally a splash.)

So, yes, they’re booze-free.  But they really are improved by booze.  But it did save all the trouble of mixing up pina coladas from scratch, plus it was fizzy, which makes it a nice, light drinkie.  Mmmm… must buy more!

Other flavours include Raspberry Martini, Lime Margarita and Minty-Lime Mojito (didn’t see that one at Fortino’s).  I bought the Raspberry Martini one, but Ted thought that would be more of a vodka drink than a rum one, and we had no vodka, so haven’t tried it out.

KosherI love it when yummy, interesting new things are kosher.  Makes me feel like things are totally going my way!  There’s even this gorgeous kosher symbol on the PC website!   Shkoyach, President!

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Pet Peeve at Weather.com

Okay, so looking at this little weather-by-icon thingy, you might think tomorrow’s going to be a rainy day, right?

temp_weathershot

But look at the probability of precipitation at the right-hand side!  30%!

To me (and I’m no Einstein), 30% means it’s probably NOT going to rain.  It’s a cute picture, but it’s basically “here’s the weather we are NOT going to have tomorrow.”

Kind of a tease, if you’re a gardener:  “Need rain?  Plants wilting?  Hey, here’s what the weather would look like if you got your wish!!!”

Also a tease if you’re an eco-conscious laundrywoman:  “Want to toss stuff on the line?  Better not, because look at this picture of what could be coming down on your undies and towels!”  (huh…maybe they’d even catch fire with all that lightning!)

I know I’ve probably mentioned this before, but they don’t call it a pet peeve for nothing:  it’s because obsess about it again and again and again, every time you visit the site.

Or at least I do.

Mmm… first caffeine of the day (caffeine is totally messing me up these days, but I can’t stop today because I’m so tired:  what a lousy cycle!).  Fresh hot Bodum Starbucks, stirred with 1 tsp hot choco mix, 1 tsp condensed milk, then poured over coffee ice cubes and topped up with a tiny bit more coffee / condensed milk.  Nice.

moam 001I made 4 cups of coffee and turned the leftovers into cubes for next week’s frapuccipos!  Double-nice:  I feel organized, for a change.

No, baby, don’t feed the comb to the hamsters.  “Moam.”

Every consonant is “M” these days:  “Maim” (=same), “Mum” (=come), “Moam” (=comb).

“You are so tired.”  Hit.  Hit.  Interrupted nap = tired, crabby boy for the rest of the day.  I’m happy he can’t hit hard, but still.  Nummies time!

And I’m still attempting to eat lunch, blog, and get some laundry done.

And then it’s off to the grocery store!

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Clematis seedhead forming

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Garbage Strike, Day 25

garbage 001A limited local collection was organized today by local realtor Chris Chopik of evolutiongreen.com – yay, him!

And yay us!  This was all the garbage I could round up, including the smelly, smelly contents of the green bin.  It had two bags in it, and there was one bag with not much in it in the kitchen.

Basically, we’re only putting meat and really fatty things in the green bin.  Otherwise, it’s all going in the backyard composter.

Yay!

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Free Fun Family-Friendly Farm

lionelslogoNice, easy morning kiddie trip to Lionel’s Farm up in Markham / Stouffville!

I was actually impressed.  It’s a small area, but very well-kept.  The animals seem to be happy and in good condition and the cages are clean.  They encourage you to bring specific foods to offer the animals:  baby carrots, celery, apples cut up and bread.  It was a little more of a shlep than Riverdale farm, but definitely fun a couple of times a year.

(They’re open May through November, but I can’t imagine November being a fun time to stand in a field watching ponies frolic.)

They could use a shaded picnic area; we sat outside of the fence under a tree, which turned out to be private property, so we got booted back to the mostly-too-sunny petting farm area to finish our lunch.

Good selection of animals, including (left) the World’s Ugliest Sheep (four horns?  uchhh!) and (right) the World’s Dumbest Peacock, conducting its elaborate mating display for a couple of disinterested – not to mention ineligible even if they were interested – chicken hens. 

Really; click the sheep to see it bigger.  It is very ugly.

farmday 007 farmday 008 

The kids brought a friend along…and so did I!  (and by kids, I mean human children, though we did see the goat kind, too)

farmday 013 

This was one of the times I’ve been grateful to have our new, big, fat car; everybody fit no problem (saving us from having to drive up in two cars!), plus a reasonable amount of stuff, and I didn’t even need to unload the stroller!  I guess I’d better stop calling it “new” one of these months.

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Ew, ew, ew: Aphid infestation of Siskiyou Pink Gaura

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There are some other greenish bugs on there also (besides the greenish aphids)… anyone know what they might be?

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Nature’s most perfect seed saving instrument!

How to save seeds from annual poppies:

I love annual poppies!  Not so much the perennial papavers, which tend to be hairy and take up a ton of space in the garden.  The blooms are bigger, but don’t last very long and then they’re just big NOTHING gaps in the garden for the rest of the summer.  And the perennial ones tend to be that orange colour, though we did see some lovely white ones this year.

Last year, I grew papaver somniferum, ruffled frilly peony poppies (aka breadseed aka opium poppies), in the most delicious salmon and pink shades (and I do NOT generally love pink!).  See them here!

We even got to eat some of the seeds.  But then, thanks to a mix-up and somebody thinking the seeds were left over from a challah, they were almost all thrown away, so I didn’t have any of them to wintersow this year, despite last year’s success.

The only poppies I have growing now are in the side-door planters, and I didn’t love them that much… but they did form the traditional poppy seed-head, which is, as the title suggests, nature’s most perfect seed-saving instrument.

farmday 051The petals drop off, the pod starts to dry, and only at the moment when the pod is completely dry and the seeds are completely ready do the little “pod bay doors” open, turning the whole seed-head into a little salt-shaker, only for poppy seeds.

I’ve blown up the picture of the openings up a bit so you can see them clearly; they’re the exact size of a poppy seed.  Waved at the tip of a poppy stem, you couldn’t design a better instrument for scattering poppy seeds within quite a nice radius.

farmday 050Naturally, this makes these the easiest of all seeds to save for next year.  Instead of letting the stem wave the seeds every which way, snip it gently and invert it over a clean, white envelope.  You don’t have to be too gentle:  unlike many seedheads, these are not at all brittle and, in fact, the larger ones are quite nice in crafts and dried arrangements.

Then, write “poppy seeds” on the envelope, add details of the colour, year, etc., and then seal it up.   I guess you could do something fancy with baggies and/or the freezer, though I’ve heard mixed things about that because there’s a lot of moisture floating around in a freezer.

Do write the name on the envelope as soon as possible.  That’s my big mistake.  I did this with tomato seeds last summer, too.  I’m always sure I’ll remember because it’s so exciting to save seeds and think about new things growing next spring… but then something happens, I’m called away, and come back to an anonymous white envelope full of ??? seeds.  Many seeds look alike. 

Columbine (aquilegia) seeds, in particular, look a lot like poppy seeds.  (Which reminds me that I left an envelope of columbine seeds sitting in the backyard just now.  Excuse me for one second!)  And without contradicting what I said a few minutes ago, the dried columbine seedhead is perhaps nature’s second-most effective seed saving instrument. 

Columbines miss top place only because the openings are a bit big and if you come late, the seeds will have already scattered themselves.  Poppies give you a bit more of a “window”.  You do  have to handle columbine seedheads carefully; if you shake them about or tip them prematurely, all your seeds spill out and are lost.

Plain old white envelopes work just fine for me, at least for a single season – ie from this summer to wintersow this coming winter, or sow normally next spring.   If you plan on saving seeds for more than one season, you’ll want a fancier system, I guess, but don’t overburden yourself by making it complicated.  Plain envelopes do just fine most of the time.

farmday 053

And here are your seeds!  These ones are black, but many of the peony poppy seeds I collected last year were shades of red, brown and pink:

signotimes 001 

Beautiful!

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Movie: My Sister's Keeper

I preferred the book, but it wasn't a bad movie.  Went with my mother and my sister; sister loved it, mother, not quite sure.  Open weeping in the theatre - gack.
 
Yes, as I read before I went, there is an annoying "twist" ending to the movie, which is different from the annoying "twist" ending to the book. 
 
The main problem is, I suspect, the principle in writing that you should never let your character get up a tree so steep there's no way down (or something - I'm tired here!).
 
I don't think there really is a good ending to this story.  It's a great first and second act; Jodi Picoult, one of my favourite "chick-lit" authors, is very capable at setting up an intriguing premise, and the movie stays very true to her concept.
 
But there's just no good way down from the tree. 
 
Spoiler WARNING!
 
Somebody's got to die, and you (in the sense of ME) are just not happy, in the broader sense of feeling satisfied with the story, no matter who it is or how it plays out.
 
It was slightly incongruous watching the same actors portray the siblings through what I felt was too wide a range of ages.  Anna, for example, was played by Abigail Breslin at both age 11 and at the end, presumably in her late teens. 
 
Even with the addition of a "grown-up" hat, she didn't look different enough, in my opinion, nor did any of the three child actors, which made the movie a bit confusing to follow.  Ultimately, however, all three did a terrific job with what they were handed.
 
If I had to choose a star rating, maybe I'd give it four out of five.  Definitely liked it, but not my favourite film of all time.
 
Nice to get out with my mother and sister.  I wish Sara had been in town to join us, but I don't think it's her kind of movie.

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Funny big boy!

Mid-July2 2009 001

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Growing up together

Mid-July2 2009 037 Mid-July2 2009 054 Mid-July2 2009 055 

(Ted’s pictures)

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Some kinda magical

naked baby 2009-07-13 002 In an effort to make things a little bit nice around here for my mother’s birthday supper tomorrow evening, YM & I moved the tacky plastic table out into the garden and I hung the Ikea tea-light lanterns over it.  This is at dusk, and I think it does look a bit magical.

Unfortunately, we’ll be eating at 6 p.m., so unless the weather is unseasonably dark (maybe a storm will be brewing!) it will all be seen in the glaring light of day. 

Actually, unless we figure out the umbrella, it really will be glaring, because we get quite a bit of sun-setting light from the backyard’s fairly open exposure to the west.

Still; if not “romantic” and “dreamy” I think I can hope for “tidy” or at least “not too grim.”

It has been occurring to me that the hostas thriving three feet from the veggie beds could be a message that the backyard doesn’t really get enough light to grow veggies; at least not in the back part behind the garage.  In the sunny front part where you first walk in, maybe.  Certainly, the full-sun flora are doing great there.

If we’re here for the long term, I may have to rethink the placement of the square-foot beds.

Why am I making such a big deal of my mother’s birthday this year?  It’s not a big birthday.  But it is her first in over 40 years – way more than most of her life – without my father at her side.

I really want her to know she’s not alone.

I am really scared that this birthday will suck, that the dinner will suck, that we will all sit there remembering her birthday last July when she was sulking because I refused to call it a “party” because it was the Three Weeks. 

And my father wasn’t feeling well, but doctors kept saying it was nothing.

shevacamp 023And we came home from Elisheva’s visiting day waaaay late so it was late and almost dark outside when we started and everybody was exhausted and starving from a day on the road.

Those were the good times, apparently!

Sara and her then-boyfriend worked hard to make a yummy chocolate / cocoa nibs cake with real whipped-cream icing.  And then I didn’t have a proper candle, so I stuck a Shabbos light on top.

Two of the people in the picture are dead now.

That’s a lot of pressure for a “no-special-number” birthday… off to marinate the chicken for tomorrow night!

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

164...

... is the number of pictures Ted took in Israel.  I am currently uploading every last one of them and sending them to Superstore to print.
He thinks I don't want to see Israel pictures, but it's so much more nuanced than that...

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Bought the BBQ! (still Shhhh…)

temp_bbqWell, it’s not the fabulous Weber Genesis that my mother’s neighbours have, but I think this is a pretty respectable “Q” for her, if I say so myself.

I am SO happy I didn’t just buy a gift card as I was debating!

Because this puppy was NOT easy to buy… we drove to one Home Depot, fairly close, then another, a bit further.  Anyway, five stores, four and a half hours after we went out and dozens of idiot salespeople later… we schlepped this thing home in its box victoriously.

Ted’s outside assembling it now.naked baby 2009-07-12 006

She’d better love it.

They had a low-end one for $199.  This is the higher-end model, marked down at the end of the season.  (I’m not going to say how much because my sisters may read this and they are supposed to only chip in what they can afford.)

It’s a “Broil Mate”, which is apparently the cheesy low-end name Broil King uses in order to cut a few corners and sell at Big Box Store prices.

Ironically (in the Alanis Morrissette sense?) (how many r’s, s’s and t’s are in Morrissette, anyway?), my mother bbq’d for us tonight… yummy homemade hamburgers.  Her BBQ was working just fine, canister set a bit aside so it wouldn’t explode when the flames leap out the bottom.  And I was thinking, maybe she doesn’t need a new one at all…

But maybe that’s the whole point?  Tell me that’s the whole point!  If it was something she absolutely needed, I’d buy it for her anyway, if I could, but it wouldn’t feel like a gift.  I love the extravagance of this one.

I hope she does, too.

Speaking of “afford”… one relative I approached who I thought for SURE would contribute declined rather abruptly, claiming to be “tapped out.”  Not even TWENTY BUCKS??!?  It’s not a distant relative, either… and it’s on her side of the family.  It is someone I thought for sure would come through for my mother, especially in this awful year for her. 

Maybe they are planning an even bigger, better surprise for her!  (am I naïve, or what?)

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Thoughts / Tips on Long-Distance Grandparenting

Just reading Assertagirl's blog where she's talking about her mother's hurting feelings as a soon-to-be long-distance grandparent.
So I posted my comments on how it's worked out for our family, then thought, why should all my vast wisdom (sheesh) be wasted on her blog when I can share it with my two-and-a-half loyal readers??
(okay, two of them are here for gardening tips, but I'll get back to pinching tomatoes tomorrow!!!)


It can be tough on long-distance grandparents, that's for sure...

My kids grew up with four grandparents in Calgary, two in Ottawa and two in Toronto (divorces, remarriages; don't ask...).

It is definitely hard on the long-distance ones in the first few years. I'd recommend blowing every spare nickel at either end on travel because they can't even talk on the phone or look at pictures at first.

Experts recommend things like long-distance grandma or grandpa recording themselves reading a story book, then sending the storybook to the kids; I've never tried it, but it sounds like a great idea.

Phone calls / Skype / etc all become easier once the kids are a bit older, too.

The ultimate silver lining is sending the kids away - once they're older, like 11 and up - to spend time with the g'parents over the summer. Away from home, rules, etc. They get away with murder and think I suspect nothing. (but I've stayed on good terms and usually get daily email updates!)

It's also fun for out-of-town relatives to stay in a family-friendly hotel (find one close, with a great pool!). That turns seeing lesser-known relatives into a fun destination and not just an obligatory "boring visit."


I know this isn't much, but maybe it'll start the "thinking juices" flowing and lead to more delightful parenting tips further down the road. :-)

I just want to add... this is my first time in a long time using Blogger's built-in online blog-posting interface. Compared to my now-customary Windows Live Writer experience, it's absolutely, unacceptably... bad. For a fuller comparison of Picasa/Blogger vs Windows Live Writer, click here. (yes, I don't usually write tech stuff at my blog, but it is my most popular post of all time: I may as well promote it a bit!!!)

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Cranky Complaints-Lady and her Teenage Game-Addict Son

Baaaaaaah... sneaky !#$@^ went out to Shopper's Drug Mart with his mitzvah-boy helping-Bubby money (for tearing up the carpeting for her on Thursday) and bought himself a $25 MasterCard "gift card" in order to subscribe to things online without permission...

I guess we should be thankful it isn't "girl-on-girl action" ...this time. Still. Grrr...

The company has already cheerfully responded that we can cancel our "subscription" any time but NO WAY. ARE. THEY. TAKING. MONEY. FROM. MY. MINOR. SON. without my permission. Besides which, simply cancelling lets him play until the money he's already put in runs out.

The big issue here is openness. If he had talked to me, I honestly believe I would probably have said yes and made it happen. He buys games sometimes; it's not like I don't believe in buying games... what I don't believe in is taking money you've earned, before maasering it (giving 10% to charity), and sneaking off to Shopper's instead of opening a conversation like: "what do you think of this cool idea for me to play games online without spending your money?"

Sigh...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: 2009/7/12
Subject: Unauthorized Subscription
Please be advised that our son, [blob], dob [blob] (14 years old), has created an unauthorized paid subscription to your site.
This has just come to our attention, but I believe it was a fairly recent transaction. I would like the subscription cancelled and the money refunded as soon as possible. Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions.
Thanks for your help!
<moi>

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Crushing like a bug

naomi 001It is almost painful to watch Naomi Rivka going through her crush – slash – idol-worship with various teachers and authority figures in  her life.

She will talk non-stop about them for weeks on end.  She will dress up like they do (as well as she can), lead Circle Time like they do and ask and ask and ask endless inane questions.

And when she sees them, she will smirk and cringe and roll around on her back in some weird courting-type ritual to get their attention.  If spoken to, she’ll either look away with a grin or, if pressed, give a slightly moronic answer in a babytalk voice.  Ugh.  Like I said:  Painful.

This week, she’s been in overdrive because we managed (somehow) to attend five totally different Circle Times, due to my conviction that each Circle Time must do something, must fill a role, contribute something that none of the others can.

Our Circle Times this week:

~ Monday:  morning, Hebrew singing circle at “Kali’s house”; afternoon, Preschool Time at the library with one of Naomi’s #1 idols of all time, Shannon.

~ Tuesday:  mercifully, no circle time!

~ Wednesday:  Baby Time at the library, with a librarian we don’t particularly like.  The kids are both too old for this one, but we needed to do something, and couldn’t make it on Thursday because of…

~ Thursday:  Signing Circle Time – a new addition.  Wonderful, wonderful; we all had fun.  The leader is young and enthusiastic, and has all the makings of a Naomi idol.

~ Friday:  our regular Shabbat Party Circle Time…with Sarah herself!  At $6 each week, I don’t know how regular it will be able to be, going forward.  :-(

So familiar, her tendency to crush, to obsess; to worship.  naomi 002She is me.  I want to warn her not to get too attached, that, as salaried caregivers and Circle-Time leaders and librarians, they will come and go in her life, more like the wrapping on the package than the substance inside. 

Nothing I can do; undoubtedly, she’ll get this for herself.  In the meantime, I fear they will crush her like a bug, her love unrequited, her tentative hopes at reciprocity dashed

I guess I turned out okay.  But she’s so little still.  See how vulnerable???

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Naomi, at my elbow, as I was typing just now...

"I'm mostly dressed."
 
Me, half-paying attention:  "Great!"
 
Glance over at her.
 
She's wearing... a belt.  Nothing else, just her pink leather-like belt.
 
Hollering "Somewhere over the rainbow."  She never stops.
 
"When happy little bluebirds fly... beyond the rainbow..."

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Razzzz, part deux: Hairy Berries

(here’s Part One – my hankering, last week!)

razz 001Naomi Rivka: “Did you know that raspberries have hair on them?

They are hairy…berries.  We should call them ‘hairy berries.’”

Mmm… yes, these were as good as they looked! 

They are NEVER this sweet in supermarkets.  Because if you leave them ‘till they’re this sweet, of course, they’re too mushy to ship from who-knows-where.  Even within Ontario; you shouldn’t even toss raspberries into a container if you’re picking them fully ripe; the weight of even a single layer of raspberries on top can crush them. 

I don’t even like supermarket raspberries.

My sister Sara’s term for her preference for fully-ripe, fresh-picked strawberries:  “I’m a snob-berry.”  Well, I’m a razzzz-berry for raspberries.  With a long, wet, tongue-rasping raspberry for any that aren’t super-fresh from my own garden, picked by my very own two hands.

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Shabbos menu

Out for lunch for a change - nice, brave people from shul who are willing to have us all over at once!
 
So here's Supper:
 
Soup w/kneidlach (EC's cooking task - just the kneidlach) & store-bought frozen kreplach
Peach / white wine chicken
Roasted local red and golden beets (yay, farmers' market!)
Apple kugel
Israeli couscous
Green beans à la - hmm... guess I should decide
Corn!
Mix brownies (YM's cooking task)
Some kind of... cookie-thing?
 
Hmm.
Taking two tired, hungry kids to Chocolate Moose on the way home from the no-longer-called-the-BJCC:  bit of a mistake.
Gavriel melted down a bit, lying on his back on the floor tiles in the crowded store.
Not the end of the world, however.  He is very self-conscious, and saves his totally outrageous behaviour for when he's home alone with us. 
 
Maybe 6 months or so ago, he wouldn't even cry if he thought someone else was watching.  Wish he'd go back to that...
 
Before the BJCC, we did a quick run to the Lee Valley downtown, to buy:
~ Plastic plant watering spikes, as recommended by Gayla Trail of YouGrowGirl.com here. Not as deluxe as my four ceramic "plant nannies," and I was going to buy the Lee Valley plant nanny but it is smaller than the ones I have.  Also, what a ridiculous name:  "Plant Nanny."  Promises way more than just dribbling moisture into a pot of dirt.  I'd accept "Plant Butler", "Plant Personal Assistant."  I guess "Plant Wet Nurse" kind of sums it up, but doesn't really have that "ring".
~ Shoes!  Big clunky blue clogs that will hopefully be less painful to wear than Crocs, which pain drove me to stop wearing pretty much FOREVER last summer (I have made a few exceptions when I have to run outside in a hurry), after almost three years of non-stop Croc wear (even on Shabbos!)
 
Oy - one long BBQ post later, Naomi's up and I must run!!!

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(Re) Reading and Loving

Okay, it's predictable, but still... I love this book.  Fascinating, yea, riveting!
 
 

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Shhh... a BBQ, with love

daddybbq

My mother's birthday is coming up on the 14th, and I had what I thought was a stroke of genius:  a BBQ!

She has one already that she got secondhand a few years ago and put some time into kashering, but flames shoot out the bottom, so she has to make sure the canister is well away from the cart, which kind of defeats the purpose of the cart.

But, to me, the BBQ seems like so much more than a THING at this point in her life.

First, because for much of our lives together, barbecuing was my father's "thing".  Mainly because he had such a horrible little hibachi BBQ that nobody wanted to go near the thing.  I will say that It was cast iron, NOT the cheap stamped-metal ones they sell now.  However.  It was still crappola as far as I was concerned when all my friends had REAL bbqs that ignited with a button, not with ten minutes worth of stacking the coals into a magical pyramid shape.

My mother's parents sometimes offered to buy my father a "real" BBQ, usually, I suspect, while they were waiting for the hamburgers that would come off the tiny grill three or four at a time.  He always refused their "kind" (but perhaps a tad self-interested) offer.

When we came to live with them after the divorce, he bought few cheap round charcoal grills, the kind that stands on a tripod.  One was for when I came over, to be kosher... I believe one was vegetarian for my sister.  There were also a couple of the cheapo stamped-metal Canadian Tire hibachis along the way somewhere, like in the picture above. 

The real estate sign in the picture, by the way, was there to protect his precious picnic table, (a whole ‘nother story, for a whole ’nother day).  There was another real estate sign, or perhaps a political campaign lawn sign, for fanning the coals.  Both an important part of a BBQ day with Daddy.

Anyway, none of the cheapo bbq’s worked very well, and I think I even hauled my Weber Q over there a few times just to avoid the pain of waiting forever for food to come off those cheesy grills.

It's not that I’m a snob about gas vs charcoal - I now know that there are terrific, modern ways of dealing with charcoal.  But my father's way was so arcane, so obscure, that nobody else could do it properly, so all the BBQing fell to him. 

(Just one example:  As a child, it was often my job to "put out" the coals so that he might save them 'till next time.  That involved dumping the coals in a single layer on the dirt, away from plants, and hosing them gently off, in a spiral shape, towards the centre, gradually cooling them all off so that we could pick them up with the special tongs and transfer them to the coffee canister in which they'd await our next family BBQ.  It was years before I realized you could buy brand-new coals if you wanted to.)

Anyway, a few years ago, somebody gave my mother a cast-off gas BBQ.  She kashered the thing mightily and my father, perhaps somewhat too eagerly, completely relinquished the role of Chief BBQ Chef.  I don’t think he ever used the new grill, but they often BBQd together and with family. 

Barbecuing became my mother’s erev-Shabbos thing in the summer:  toss some chicken (or whatever) in, flip it, turn the thing off, and you’ve got perfectly-done food, and as a bonus, it didn’t heat the house up.

And the family BBQs:  We’d always had them, but more than ever, it became my mother’s opportunity to shine, to show off her backyard, her family, to sit around drinking beer.  For the record, I don’t drink beer, but approve of it in my family because we’re generally pretty strange, uptight people.

So, wow, this is getting way longer than I thought it would, so I’ll sum up:  my father’s gone, my mother’s fixing up the house bit by bit to make it her own.  She’s changing things around in the business to make it her own also.  And so, I think, she needs a BBQ of her own.  Brand-new, no kashering, no history. 

So she can start having BBQs for one if she wants (I want to choose something that is easy to use so she won’t say it’s “just her” and not use it!), or for family gatherings… like saying her family is still around for her, even though Daddy’s gone.

(Is that too much for one appliance to say?)

I hope to go pick one out on Sunday.  I emailed her brother and he and his ~ahem~ girlfriend (okay, YES, I think it’s weird to call her a “girlfriend” when he’s 70) chipped in quite a bit.  My father’s sister is also contributing something.  I think they’re all a bit grateful that I thought of something, and I think it will suit her well. 

(I’d love to get her a Weber Q, because they offer a great combination of flexiblity, ease of use and capacity to serve larger crowds if necessary… but I think it’s too expensive.  Sigh.  And I don’t think she’d go for a Weber charcoal, even though they are the cadillac of charcoal grills, just because of all the aforementioned nonsense with charcoal.)

My sisters will probably pay something, though I haven’t heard back from Sara, who’s in the midst of her summer of indentured (but theoretically WiFi enabled) servitude up in Muskoka somewhere.

Of course, at Abigail’s suggestion, I’m keeping the receipt, so my mother can micromanage if necessary and take the whole thing back for exchange or credit or whatever.

Plus, it’s end-of-season… hopefully, I’ll find something good fairly cheap!

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Speaking Geek: Pinning files to XP’s Start Menu

start menuYes, we “still” use XP.   Meaning, we tried Vista, it turned out to be less a software program and more criminally irresponsibility on the part of Microsoft, so now, after being told our original hard drive will never work with Vista again, we’re back to XP.

So I wanted our family phone list to stay “pinned” to the start menu, so I could get at it anytime I wanted.

It’s called shulppl.txt, (yes, it’s a text file – low-tech, but it works!) and it’s in a central spot on the hard drive, shared among everybody, but only parents (aka Admin users) have write access to change the file.

BTW, setting file privileges and permissions is WAY simpler and less buggy than Vista.  Every 10 minutes, Vista was denying me access to files I knew I had access to:  even my own files, on occasion.  At one point, I was the only administrator, and it still wouldn’t let me get at a lot of stuff without wasting an hour resetting inherited permissions. 

Or waiting for that awful Green Bar of Doom that fills up forever…

Anyhow.  I couldn’t figure it out and couldn’t figure it out.  So I turned to Google, and got the answer in just a few minutes.

Create a shortcut to the file somewhere - anywhere.  Drag the shortcut to the Start button.  Done.

The next time you open the Start Menu, you should see your file pinned right there at the top along with other must-have favourites.  (Snippy is my super-basic screen-capture all-in-one executable)

You can even, apparently, delete the shortcut once you’re through.

I’m mostly putting this up here so I can do it again if necessary.  But if it helps somebody else, so be it.  Apparently, people are hungry for technical information:  the most popular page on my blog is my “review” – slash – comparison of Windows Live Photo Gallery vs Picasa.

Pretty sad:  I pour my heart out on 745 pages (not counting this one!), and the one completely unrelated post is the most read, most helpful, most commented-upon and easiest to find with a Google search.

Maybe I’ll go back to being a tech writer if nobody wants my surreal ramblings about supper, philosophy, theology, the garden, my kids and, as Dennis Prager so often says about his show… everything in life.

Sulk.

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Proud moment!

chequeFixAnother week, another milestone:  after only five days gainfully employed, here’s Elisheva’s first paycheque!

The $15 is a “ruach bonus”… extra money for extra camp spirit!

She’s excited because now she can afford her iPod nano (if I let her blow the whole thing, plus what she has saved up in her bank account…).

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Putting out fires

Baruch Hashem, none of the fires I'm putting out today are literal.
 
I do wish there were fewer of the figurative ones, however.
Dreading the next ring of the phone.

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So much love!

 Mid-July 2009 006b

(Ted’s picture)

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Catching Naomi at the bottom of the slide

Mid-July 2009 048bMid-July 2009 042b

(Ted’s pictures)

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7 a.m. & crying

Ha! You think this is early?
This is LATE!

The stupid, stupid baby has been crying since 2.

He only just fell back asleep.

I have this thing between 2 and 5. A selfish thing.
A thing where I will literally disembowel anything that comes between me and sleep.

So Ted usually takes that shift: the hardest, the groggiest, the nightmarishest.
Last time I tried, I ended up screaming in the baby's face, calling him names and spanking him. (not hard, but it scared me)

My Sleep Strategy: go in, comfort him & lie him down after 5, 10, 20, 40 minutes. Keep it simple, calm. "It's sleep time; good night."

40 is the hardest. I have never made it to 40.
I believe it works, but it's bloody hard to do consistently.

"Go to sleep, stupid baby," is not a soothing way to put him to sleep. It's one of the more mild things I have said to him between 2 and 5.

He screams. It's not crying, it's screaming. Like he's in pain, like he's on fire.

When YM & EC used to cry about things they didn't need to cry about, I used to say, "that's the voice you use when one of your parents is dead, chas v'sholom, not when you don't have enough pudding."

They did use that voice when their father died.
They cried so loud, so hard.

I also heard it when we had to give up the cat due to YM's allergies. "Nooooooooo..." Heart-breaking, awful. No parent wants to make her kids cry like that.
But maybe more so when Jeremy died.

I picked them up after school and we went to the park in Thornhill where we sometimes take pizza so we don't have to eat it in My Zeidy's.
Sat them down on the hill.
They knew he was sick, but thought - kids - that he'd get better soon.
Even at the beginning, I'd always known nothing would ever be the same. If he'd lived, he would have been a vegetable, so they pulled the plug.
But the kids thought they were getting him back.

So they screamed, and cried, and I let them sleep together in Elisheva's room that night.
YM said, "if there's going to be a funeral, I have to be there."
So I got them there, two days later, on a plane with a newborn to Calgary, and back 24 hours later.

They were too young to sit shiva; too young, mercifully, to know he was cremated and died without a Jewish funeral. His step-father, an ex-Catholic, said psalms in English; it was lovely. They showed a video of Jeremy, dancing on the beach in Hawaii, the beach he'd always promised to take me to, take the kids to. Dancing in the waves, with his Crohn's in remission, feeling good for the first time in a long time (maybe, I think sometimes, for the first time since we got married).

A little fish, swimming away.

YM has to have a schedule for everything. When the pain started slipping away, when the loss was no longer immediate and urgent, he said, "I'm going to be sad for four months." I said okay.

They're still sad, but I can see that they barely remember him. I try to share memories, but it's hard; Jeremy took most of the memories with him.

"Mazel tov on your new Naomi," he'd emailed. He shook Ted's hand when they met after our wedding and wished him a mazel tov too.

He'd borrowed his mother's CRV and drove across Canada with a videogame console he'd built for Yerachmiel Meir, because it would have cost too much to ship.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Probably the sort of thing that made me glad I wasn't still married to him.

Drove up erev Shabbos to our apartment on Meadowbrook, and Ted came down to give him a hand - he couldn't get it up 3 flights of stairs alone.
While they were moving the videogame unit (heavy, heavy! YM still has it but it doesn't work anymore), I packed up a plate of Shabbos food; I knew he wouldn't stay.
I wanted to make it nice for him. To thank him for caring about the kids, for being a mensch about Ted.

We had spring rolls, and I packed up a couple for him and even dug around to find a take-out packet of egg roll sauce.
I didn't give it to him, I went downstairs and tucked it all onto the dashboard of the CRV, where he'd see it when he got into the car. Snuck back into the house.

It was October, I think. I was five months pregnant with Naomi; he said it looked good on me.
He didn't touch my nose, like he did the day in Calgary that we did the get. He came over afterwards to see the kids, and as he left, he swiped my nose, gently, just on the tip.

One time when he came to Toronto, he left a note on the pillow: "I will always love you."
I still have it.

After dropping off the videogame thing, he stayed for a few minutes to visit the kids. I took a picture on his cellphone of him standing with YM and the videogame machine. Nobody ever found that picture; it was the last one of them together.

He died in April, between Purim and Pesach.

"Mazel tov on your new Naomi." So gracious, for once, for a change, for the first time since our divorce.
So peaceful.

The last night, a Monday, he chatted on the phone with Elisheva, and they did an online chat at the same time: just silly nonsense syllable stuff. She saved the chat transcript.
He talked to YM, too, but mostly he talked to me, after years of me mostly perfunctorily handing over the phone to the kids so we wouldn't get into it.

He'd sent a package for the kids from Hawai'i but Purolator hadn't been able to drop it off. Originally, I would have had to drive out to Mississauga to get it, but he arranged a pickup location at Yonge and Eglinton and was so happy to have saved me the trip with a newborn in the car; driving anywhere was hard. Still, he apologized that I had to go get it at all. (I went a few days later; it was hard, lots of stairs with the baby in her carseat carrier)

We talked about our plans for the summer, about me maybe coming out, or the bizarre fantasy of me driving them halfway, maybe meeting him in Chicago, to save plane fare.
It was the first time in a while that he'd really clicked with Elisheva - their phone conversations were often awkward.
It was our first peaceful conversation in so long. I felt like a good friend was coming back after years away.

We hung up because Monday was his swim night.
We never talked again.
The next day, I got messages from his uncle, his aunt, that he was in the hospital.
On Friday, he died.

And now here I am with these big kids, this baby he'll never see, and it's 7 a.m. (but it's not anymore) and I'm thinking about stuff and wallowing because life goes on, even sometimes when it seems too hard to bear, and maybe you're a little bit envious of those who don't have to do it anymore.

Just a little. Not enough to make me give up or anything, except maybe between 2 and 5.
7:30? This is late!
Everybody will be waking up soon; I'd better go see the garden.

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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Been a while

… since I blogged about our suppers.  Cannot possibly reconstruct the last few weeks.  So, like the Flylady says, “I am not behind!”  I will jump in right where we are – this week!

Suppers!

Sunday:  Chinese Food at Mommy’s house

Monday:  Spaghetti with Yves Ground “Meat” and homemade herb bread

Tuesday (tonight):  Superstore chicken, roasted potatoes, corn, garden peas.

pinching 016

Tomorrow:  oy, who knows???

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Pinch to grow an inch (-long tomato)

pinching 001So the side-door “Sweet 100” tomato (yes, I bought a non-heirloom commercial hybrid seedling, I know; shameful)  was getting entirely out of hand.  In fact, all the tomatoes were growing a bit wild, so I declared this a Weeding and Pinching Day.

Attacked a bunch of weeds around the back, on the neighbour’s property (because it adjoins ours and his weeds make my garden ugly and sick sometimes – the weed maples spread powdery mildew all over last year).

And then it was Pinching Time!

First, a word of caution:  Tomatoes can be either determinate or indeterminate.  Determinate tomatoes are the well-behaved kind:  they grow to a certain size, make their fruit, and eventually shrivel up and die.  NEVER PINCH DETERMINATE TOMATOES.  They only have so much “growing” in them – it doesn’t make sense to cut off any of it.

Indeterminate tomatoes are the vining flopping spreading type:  they’ll grow and grow and grow forever, if you let them, or until frost kills them. 

(what do they do in Israel or places where there’s no frost?)

Trouble is (and this is all from what I’ve read, though there is some controversy on this issue), they basically have enough energy to make tons of leaves or to make yummy, succulent fruit.  Dunno about you, but I’d rather have fruit.  To improve the quality of the fruit, as well as to improve the shape of the plant, you have to selectively control its growth.

The best way to do that is by doing what I think of privately in my head (and have never revealed to anyone before) as “shaving the armpits.”

See, indeterminate tomatoes are awful for producing SUCKERS where leaves branch out.  At the junction (“armpit”) of a leaf and the main stem, at a 45-degree angle, a small two-leaved sucker will start to grow (this one was on the hanging “Chocolate Stripes” tomato):

pinching 005

Left unchecked, the sucker quickly (within days!) can turn into an entire miniature tomato plant, like this one that I found today, hanging off old “Sweet 100”:

 pinching 003

See?  It’s even getting ready to flower!

  pinching 008

The hard part here is getting past the idea that if the sucker makes fruit, you will have MORE fruit.  That’s actually where part of the controversy comes in.  Some people say to just leave the suckers and you’ll have more fruit, and everybody will be happy.

But.  I don’t believe that.  I believe you’ll have a ton of puny, underripe fruit, unless you control the plant’s growth a little bit so it can put more energy into the fruit that’s already growing.

So you have to be harsh.  You have to snap off that sucker.  And you will actually find that it’s a pretty easy thing.

1)  Bend the sucker carefully away from the main stem.  The most important thing here is to not snap the main stem, but it should be sturdy enough by now.

 pinching 009

2)  Keep bending!  See, it’s starting to break!

 pinching 010

3)  Snap!  You’re done!  A clean break is best, without tearing a strip off the stem, which could invite bugs and disease.

 pinching 011

Look at that little plant there! 

pinching 012

You could probably stick this into the soil and it would grow into a whole new plant.  Tomatoes are pretty sturdy that way.  I just composted this one (okay, I just chucked it into a flower bed… ).

In the case of this side-door Sweet 100, there was also a ton of leafy growth that I was worried was too congested around the lower stems, which could lead to disease later on in the season when stress and drought set in (even with the Plant Nanny installed in the planter, which will probably help a bit).

Once a tomato plant is well-established, you probably won’t hurt it much by snapping off a few of the lower leaves.  I find these usually get bug-eaten and maybe a bit shrivelled anyway.  As long as there’s enough leafy green up on top to keep the whole unit going, you should be fine. 

Maybe even healthier, because as I said before, a plant with too little air circulation to the main stem – even if it’s because it’s covered in happy, healthy leaves – is a plant that is begging for attack by fungal and other diseases.

After taking care of “Sweet 100,” I also cleaned up the tomatoes in self-watering containers, because they, too,  were starting to sucker like crazy.  Hopefully, this plus some warm weather will help us see some yummy, red, ripe tomatoes someday soon!!!

By the way, wash your hands well after handling tomatoes.  I do snap them with bare hands because I’ve found that when I wear gloves, I can’t be as precise and that’s when I either hurt the main stem or tear off an “extra” strip along with the sucker (open wounds can also lead to disease).

Remember that those suckers are poisonous (literally).  Some people are more sensitive to tomato foliage and cannot handle them with bare hands.  If you are ever mysteriously itchy after coming in from the garden, it could be because you’ve been handling tomato foliage.

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Petunia Seed-Saving Watch continues…

pinching 014In my obsession with all these lovely fragrant petunias, I have been desperately trying to figure out where the seeds come from so I can attempt to bring them back in some form next year.

So I have finally determined for certain that this is where the seeds grow.  This pod is still green, so not ready, but you can see that it’s swollen a bit since a few weeks ago, and I suppose, like other seed pods, it will eventually turn brown and become brittle. 

At which point, the promised “hundreds of seeds” will spill out, ripe for saving & starting again next winter!

(btw, despite this, I am not holding out much hope that they will be lovely and delicious-smelling again next year because most petunias are hybrids and do not come true from seed… it’s worth a try, but I will probably also buy some type of scented heirloom petunias as well)

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We are thinking

Well, I am thinking.
And when I think, apparently, everybody around me thinks.
 
About aliyah.
 
If we're going to be impoverished and miserable in a falling-down, too-hot, too-cold home... why not at least do it in the place we belong?
 
Timeframe?  Maybe four years?  When Elisheva finishes high school; we could follow her to seminary!  Hopefully dorm in with her and everything!!!
(joking)
 
I guess I have said some of this already here.
I love the patch of earth that surrounds my home... as for the house bit, I could do without that.  Blah.  :-(

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Not a Dilemma

glass 001Okay, as I always (tediously) point out, nothing is a dilemma unless it is a problem which offers two “lemmas” or competing alternatives, of which neither are acceptable.

So this is NOT a dilemma.  But it IS a stuck juice glass, inside another juice glass, of apparently the exact same shape but slightly larger size.  As you can see, there’s some moisture trapped between the glasses, so there’s probably also a vacuum taking place here.

So the question (not dilemma) is – how to separate the glasses without shattering at least one of them.  They’re not particularly valuable (Dollarama:  one was 2/$1 and one was 3/$1), but it’s the principle that counts. 

There OUGHT to be a way to separate these, don’t you think???  Plus, they’re almost brand-new (just bought last weekend), and I’d hate to have to chuck one or both just because they got stuck.

Here are some more views of the glass.  Suggestions welcome via email or in the Comments section below!

 glass 002 glass 003 glass 004

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Monday, July 06, 2009

Discovery Museum & family programs

Cranky Complaints-Lady does NOT like change!!! Email to the Executive Director of the BJCC:

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 5:41 PM
Subject: Discovery Museum & family programs


I'm concerned about the closure of the Jewish Discovery Museum, along with changes to the Friday-morning Shabbat Party program.

We've been coming to the Discovery Museum programs off and on for almost nine years. The museum, as a drop-in Jewish-themed play centre with occasional holiday and Jewish special events, has been an important feature of the BJCC in terms of bringing in families and children who wouldn't otherwise participate in BJCC programs.

For the last six months, we have also participated every week in the Shabbat Party program. For a single membership fee, our family has been able to come every week and join this lively, fun singing and dancing "circle time."

We have all enjoyed the program immensely, however, changes to the pricing structure will likely make it impossible for us to continue participating in this program. From what we've been told, the program will now cost $10 per Friday (for a half-hour circle time, which doesn't even include the Museum drop-in!), or a "pass" may be available which will cost $60 for 7 visits.

That simply isn't affordable to most families, and I suspect the program won't continue for more than a few weeks at those rates.

I'd love to see the Discovery Museum revamped and reinstated in some way in the new building. As I said, I feel the Museum appealed to families whose kids might not otherwise have much contact with the Jewish community, and also offered a venue where parents, Bubbies and others could share Jewish experiences with their kids.

I'd also like you to reconsider the pricing for the Shabbat Party program. We are trying to raise four children on a single, low income, and there are many fun kids' programs available closer to home for free. We've enjoyed the Shabbat Party mostly for its Jewish theme and Jewish/Hebrew content, something I feel the BJCC - as a central focus of the Jewish community - should be committed to offering at an affordable price.

Thanks for listening!

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Lead

When Naomi was 1, I talked to my doctor about doing lead testing, because of this stupid old house we live in. The doctor eventually got me the requisition, but I never got around to taking it and Naomi in to the lab for a poke.

But now I'm thinking I really ought to have it done, on both little kids this time. But I'm also feeling guilty that it's maybe way too late to do anything if Naomi has been exposed.

I do believe the risk is pretty low. But last Friday at the BJCC, Naomi got stuck doing a 9- or 10-piece Sesame Street puzzle - pretty basic. Like, she totally had no idea which direction each piece was supposed to go in, let alone which spot on the board, even when it was pretty clear from the pictures.

And then I was reading something over the weekend that talked about the connection between lead and kids' learning... (otherwise a totally unrelated book: What the Doctor Didn't Say: The Hidden Truth about Medical Research )

And I was suddenly very disturbed and decided to go ahead and test them.
My dr's office has been open for five hours: ask me if I've done anything about this yet. The thought of pokes for both of them is very daunting... dumb, huh?

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

Razzzzzzzz…

{Postscript: Raspberry lust was eventually requited in this post!!!}

raspberries at twilightOne last garden post before I turn in. I’m getting a hankering for razzzberries (aka raspberries, just to keep this post searchable). I cannot believe how wild and overgrown this patch has gotten. I put in some dollar-store trellises to restrain the vines so the berries don’t flop on the ground.

I think they’re late this year because of our long cool spring, but the berries are fully-formed now and hopefully will start to redden with a few warm days. Because I’d hate to miss the fall crop if this one comes in late…

Speaking of “redden” – aargh. The baby seems to think he can pick any old strawberry he sees growing: even the white ones! :-o I tried to stop him this morning, but when I turned around, he said “No” and then picked one. Tried to eat it, but then even he spat it out. They really aren’t ready when they’re white!!!

Here’s a picture of the same “wall of raspberries” taken both when the wall was brown (before our insurance required Ted to attack the garage with a can of Barney-coloured paint) and when the raspberries were tiny. The five canes here were what I started with: 3 from Home Depot (expensive) and 2 from a guy at the Riverdale Farm farmers’ market (cheap) who swore they were his grandfather’s raspberries.

I suspect it is Grampa’s Berries that have taken over the entire place. Next spring is the year I have to get tough and start pulling up canes that grow where I don’t want them. Otherwise, we’ll have a yard full of raspberries this time next year.

I wonder if raspberries grow in Israel?

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‘Maters n’ Taters

First tomato?  This one’s a Sweet 100 – that’s right, I bought a tomato plant, with all the ones I started from seed.   Sigh… until I become a better gardener, I think there will always be temptations in the garden stores.  This one’s pretty tiny still, but it may indeed prove the first one to ripen!

first tomato? 

Here’s an update on all things solanaceae (ie taters and ‘maters):

Hanging up – Chocolate stripes in Vesey’s planter vs Early Tiny in homemade planter.  Some flowers, no fruits forming yet.

hanging tomato hanging tomato 

Other ‘maters:

side door sweet 100 tomatoSide door Sweet 100, another shot, not so close up.

 side door carolina gold tomato Side door Carolina Gold (note kitschy Plant Nanny watering bottle… I bought 4 of these on impulse at Sheridan, and actually think they work pretty well!)

 potatoes tomatoes and strawbs, oh myThe mess at the side door:  taters and maters and strawbs, oh my!

 floppy side door potatoesFor some reason, the potato vines totally drooped this weekend.  They didn’t wilt or bend, just keeled over – too tall?  These ones didn’t snap:  one of the container potatoes did break off.

These pics were taken quickly at dusk:  forgive the lousy light!

 tamina tomatoTamina potato-leaf tomato in a regular planter (with milk bottle for delivering water to roots).

 children's garden Roma and broccoli in sub-i #1Sub-irrigated (self-watering) planter #1 with broccoli and Children’s Garden Roma tomato… not growing quite as fast as I’d like, but coming along!

 early tiny cherry and chocolate pepper in sub-i #1Sub-irrigated planter #2 with Early Tiny Cherry tomato, growing like a weed!  Along with a Sweet Chocolate Sweet pepper from Urban Harvest.

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Son of “Sunny”…

Drat, just remembered I’m supposed to bring a snack for circle time tomorrow.

Anyway.  Totally irrelevant!

I have searched and searched but cannot find a single reference in this blog to last year’s astonishing sunflower that volunteered and grew all summer and into the fall – out the side of the compost bin. 

How could I have failed to mention it??

To remedy that, fast, here it is:

Volunteer compost-bin sunflower  Volunteer compost-bin sunflower volunteer compost-bin sunflower

This is the biggest, healthiest sunflower I have ever grown.  It didn’t really need staking, but I didn’t want anything to happen to it, so I drove a metal thingy down beside it just to make sure.  Absolutely pristine leaves, gigantic.  All that compost!

So the reason I was searching for pictures and references to it is because… its children have taken root and are flourishing, if not directly in the composter, then in the shady pathway alongside it.  Actually, the biggest,  healthiest one is, in fact, right beside the composter.

The leaves are definitely not pristine, but they’re still growing pretty nicely considering I have done nothing to care for them, and, in fact, knock them over pretty routinely as I brush past down the path!

volunteer composter sunflowers

I wonder – do sunflowers grow in Israel?

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Bookay

maters 001

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How can it be?

My kids grew up in the age of Global Warming, yet they still go out and leave every single light in the house burning.  And a bunch of fans!
 
It's not just paying the bills that makes me so sensitive to it, does it?
Aren't they worried about the future?  About conserving?
 
I feel like my father, who used to wander forlornly around the house, shouting "whooooo's in the basement???" if he saw a light burning down there.
Whoooooo's in the kitchen, that we need three bulbs and a ceiling fan going full blast???

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Friday, July 03, 2009

Challah rising, the easy way

So this is my latest lazy Friday-morning habit.  When I make the challah Friday morning (sometimes I do it Thursday night, when it gets fridged overnight), I have taken to leaving it in the food processor to rise while we do our Friday-morning things.

erev 006And when I come back, look!  It’s ready to go (in this case, being 5 in the afternoon, it’s a bit more than ready to go…)

I figure this is exactly what a bread machine does… you leave it in the machine for that, so why not with my food processor?   It does stick to the sides a bit, but not as much as you’d think.

And super-easy, with nothing extra to wash – or throw away, as with the extra-large non-zip freezer bags I usually use.

(though I do cut open the freezer bags and reuse them instead of plastic wrap to cover the challahs while they’re rising)

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Garbage Strike Day 12: Erev Shabbos

erev 007Garbage strike?  What garbage strike??

We have no problems… :-)))

This is a “pellet” of one recyclable cardboard box (garbage bag box because we’re going through so many of them!) filling up with kitchen scraps.  Pop the whole thing in the backyard composter, and 3 months later… gone!

Lucky thing worms don’t go on strike!

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Dvar Torah for Parshas Chukas

Parshas Chukas

This week's parshah opens with the mitzvah of parah adumah, the red heifer.  I always warn my kids not to write their divrei Torah about the first thing that happens in the parsha, because then I get suspicious they haven't read the whole parsha.

So you may all get very suspicious when I say I'll be talking a bit about the parah adumah.  This was a red cow, pristine, never worked in the field.  The kohanim burnt the cow and mixed the ashes into water which was then sprinkled on a person who had come in contact with a dead body.  That person then became tahor – translated as "clean," but that's a bad translation.

Biblical concepts of tumah and taharah are tricky in an age obsessed with hygiene.  Do women become "unclean" just by menstruating?  Can dunking in a mikveh make you more "clean" than your nice, shiny Jacuzzi at home?

I once heard that tumah and taharah do not revolve around cleanliness, but around loss of life.  Menstruation always does mean a small loss of potential life; ask anyone who's trying to conceive a baby.  Because Judaism affirms life, and because life is all about connection to Hashem, even a small loss has an impact on our soul.

So It's not about clean and dirty.  It's about our connection to Hashem.  The mikveh does it where a bathtub doesn't.  The parah adumah does it where Elsie the Cow simply can't.

What every commentator I've seen picks up on is right there in the name of the parsha:  Chukas.  A chok, as you have probably already heard, is a law that can't possibly be understood.

There are dozens of chukim in the Torah – shatnez, not wearing wool and linen together.  Nobody knows why.  Milk and meat?  It's not about being kind to mother goats– it's a chok.

The parah adumah is an especially tricky chok because there's an inherent contradiction:  the person who mixes the ashes then becomes tumah, even while the person who gets the mixture sprinkled on him becomes tahor.  Interesting stuff.

According to a  midrash, Shlomo Hamelech (King Solomon), the wisest person ever, was eventually able to figure out rational explanations for all the chukim in the Torah – except the Parah Adumah. 

Sounds a lot like teasing:  "You wouldn't understand."  But Hashem would never do that!

The other day, joking around with one of my kids, I said, "there's no good way to say, 'you wouldn't understand.'"  I tried it in all different voices:  it always sounds like an insult.  Why?

There is this drive in all of us that we must know.  We have to find out.  It's the Curious George thing – what does this button do?  Even if it's rocket science, brain surgery, any of those hard things I'll never do myself:  maybe I can't understand all of it, but certainly you can simplify and I'm sure I'll catch on.

When someone says "you wouldn't understand," that's an insult:  they don't believe we'd comprehend even the "for Dummies" version.

Hashem would never have said that; he loved us too much.  But when it comes to the parah adumah, we're not supposed to understand – that's the whole point.

The mitzvah of parah adumah begins with the words "zos chukas haTorah" - this is the chok of the Torah.  But why does it say "the chok of the Torah" – the entire Torah – and not just the "chok of Tumah" or the "chok of the parah adumah?"

I found two explanations.  Rabbi Yissocher Frand points out that when we first accepted the Torah at Har Sinai, we said "Naaseh v'Nishmah" – we will do and we will listen; in that order.

This chok, says Rabbi Frand, is the "chok of the entire Torah" because it reminds us of that promise; that every mitzvah the Nike mitzvah:  just do it, even if you don't completely understand.

Rabbi Manis Friedman goes a little farther and adds that "when it comes to doing mitzvos, even the mitzvos that make sense and are rational, we should do because G-d decreed it and not because of the appeal that it has to our intelligence."

Maybe because, as I've discovered with my kids, they usually only ask why so they can argue some more.

Familiarity breeds contempt:  the Ramban suggests that if you knew the entire Torah, you might use that  knowledge to rationalize doing whatever you wanted. 

This chok reminds us that Torah's not about us; it's about Hashem and His wisdom:  we wouldn't understand.

So is it really an insult?  No!  It's Hashem telling us, "I am giving you this gift which is so much greater than yourselves:  That's how much I love you."

This mitzvah is the greatest chok because it gives us our nearest glimpse of Hashem himself; the Godly imagination.

Why tie all that earth-shattering stuff in with the parah adumah, one little red cow?  Today, it's an obscure, little-known mitzvah, but when the bais Hamikdash stood, the parah adumah was the only way a person could fully restore their connection with God after coming in contact with a dead body.  Pretty major.

Remember, too:  humans didn't even know death until we – Adam and Chava – tasted the fruit of the tree of knowledge.  Knowledge – meaning, we needed to know WHY.  About everything!  What does this button do?

So along comes death.  And tumah, because when a person dies, they lose their tzelem Elokim, their Godly image.   The tiny spark of Godly imagination is gone from their body.

That affects us to the core; when we are close with someone who has died, we too lose our way; we die a little.  And we desperately need to get that back, to heal our relationship with the Almighty – through the parah adumah.

These days, we can't feel it the way we should, because we are already in exile, removed from our full, day-to-day, physical relationship with the Almighty.

 The bais Hamikdash is gone, and this week, on Shiva Asar b'Tammuz, we'll start the three week "shiva" to mourn how far we are, here, from our ideal state as yidn, holy Jewish sparks.

Rabbi Manis Friedman said on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, "Here's the secret to happiness: know that you are getting more than you deserve. If you are feeling that you are getting what you deserve, you have a sense of justice, but not a reason to get up and dance, to rejoice. But if you are feeling you are getting more than you deserve, that is a cause for gratitude, which is cause for joy."

In the parah adumah, in this chok which represents the entire Torah, in the Torah which represents God himself, Hashem's imagination and the sparks of it which inhabit each and every one of us – we are getting so much more than we deserve as individuals.

Miriam, too.  She gave us so much more than we deserved; she was the spiritual leader of the Jewish women and the source of water for all bnei Yisrael.  Did we ever stop and thank her for the water, or did we just assume that we deserved it?

In this week's parsha, bnei Yisrael weep for her death, but they also have to go thirsty for a while, to physically suffer, to drive home the realization of what a gift she was – so much more than we deserved!

This Thursday, we weep for the bais Hamikdash, for the Yerushalayim that we have lost. 

I'll be very honest:  I've "done" Tisha b'Av before, but – having been in Israel so, so briefly this year – this may be the first year that I really feel Tisha b'Av. 

At least, that's what I promised Hashem, on my "personal Tisha b'Av", sitting on the plane, long past midnight, flying home alone with a screaming baby on my lap, to help bury my father.  I was so close – and it was torn away.  We were all once so, so close to Hashem, and we can be that close again.

May our sorrow over what we've lost help us see all of Hashem's tremendous gifts, and ultimately, lead to our own redemption.

Hashiveinu hashem v'nashuva – chadesh yameinu k'kedem.  Return to us, Hashem and we will come back.  Please give us this chance to come back. 

Good Shabbos. 

# # #

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Heard in an online shiur

While preparing for my dvar Torah:
"do you know how nogeiah l'maaseh para adumah was?
I'll tell you how nogeiah l'maaseh it was.  As much as hilchos aveilus is nogeiah bizman hazeh...
If we will live and we will be baruch Hashem, im yirtzeh Hashem, we will chas v'shalom not die before our parents, we will all have to deal with hilchos aveilus."
 
This is a shiur in English, by the way.  :-)))
(and a good one, at that!)

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Cool web toy? RECAPTCHA!

The following is for demonstration purposes only. Do not hit SUBMIT!










The words above come from scanned books.
By typing them, you help to digitize old texts.


Having seen these little keyword-entry boxes on almost every site where you sign up for anything for quite a while, this isn't exactly NEW to me, but I never quite realized how Recaptcha works.

Here's the low-tech background: When you scan a book or other literature with a scanner, the computer can't read the text - the scanner basically takes a "picture" of the book page.

There are programs that usually come free with your scanner, or you can buy more fully-featured versions, that attempt to "read" the "picture" of the book page. These are called OCR (Optical Character Recognition) programs. They are improving, slowly, incrementally, but most are in generally really, REALLY bad and make a ton of mistakes.

It turns out that the best reading "technology" is right up here in our heads.

So the folks at ReCaptcha are using our heads, for free, while providing two valuable services for free: stopping spam sign-ups for various sites, and digitizing a wealth of offline literature. They do this by making 2-word portions of scanned documents into "passwords" that you must type correctly to be allowed access to whatever it is that you're trying to access.

This works much the same way as Google's image labeler game, getting people to sometimes unknowingly "donate" tiny wasted-anyway fragments of their time for free in return for something they desire (in Google's case, playing a game, for ReCaptcha, access to websites and accounts).

How much better does the human brain work than current OCR software technology? See this page for sample scanned texts.

And here was my big question... if they are using your mind to find out what the scanned text/image says, how do they know you are typing it right? Here's a whole page that will explain better than I ever could!

Take a minute to play with a few ReCaptchas just for fun while you're there... you'll be helping digitize the wealth of human knowledge!

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Stayin’ Alive!

Two weeks since my last update about these fruit trees from seed, so although you’re probably sick of seeing these two plants over and over, I’m not, and it’s my blog.  So there.

So:  lemon (left) and mango (right).

paving 013 paving 015

That’s all – keepin’ it simple!

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The last of the wintersown

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Well, actually, I still have some thyme in pots, and maybe some columbine kicking around in back, but here’s one of the Blackberry Lilies (belamcanda chinensis) that sprouted extremely late (May 31, according to this entry).

I had five little pots of it, but something was eating them in back, so I planted them among the cedars in the front yard.  They are almost completely invisible next to the hostas.

I just hope to nurse them along this season and hopefully see flowers next year.

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The daylilies are back!

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Utterly, utterly defeated

By all this screaming.
 
I gave him nummies.  Gave him breakfast - cottage cheese, cereal, juice.  Read him books - his favourites.
Sang to him.  Gave him babies, gave him his crocodile.  Cuddled him, patted him, covered him, rocked him.
 
The screaming continues unabated.

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It is 11 a.m.

(almost)
 
The baby is screaming.
I haven't had breakfast
or a shower.
 
But the garbage got taken out & away!!!
 
Maybe Dufferin Grove later... if the rain holds off.

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Oz, Naomi's version

Still her favourite musical - slash - movie - slash - story of all time.  This is from Somewhere over the Rainbow, sung over and over and over:
"Where troubles smell like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops; that's where you'll find me..."

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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Reptilia: Quite recommended!

reptilia 002Add this one to the list of Places to Take Kids of All Ages with Very Diverse Interests:  Reptilia.

I’ve been a Reptilia fan since it was free, in a tiny storefront, and Elisheva first went there for a friend’s birthday party.

A few years ago, they moved into a huge new location in Woodbridge (Vaughan?), and started charging a whole lot of money.  (currently $12 for adults, $8 for kids)

I did an article about it for the Canadian Jewish News, for a party supplement (they do birthday parties), so I got a full tour for free (I thought in return for such a great article, they should have given me a free pass for the whole family or something, but I did bring Elisheva along to take a look around – a photo of her in the bathroom got published in the CJN!).

Anyhow, I’ve been reluctant to go and actually pay money, but the new facility really is leaps and bounds better than the old one, which wasn’t really anything.

So today I had a 2-for-1 coupon, and YM got in free.  Elisheva decided to have a day of nothing and stayed home, which is a shame, because she would have loved it.

The littles both found things of interest:  GZ was mostly into turtles, Naomi was more all over the place.  YM found enough science stuff and cool critters to keep him amply entertained as well.

We only stayed for one show, but shows are offered every couple of hours (I assume based on how busy they are), and the one we were in allowed close-up viewing and touching of three reptiles:  a turtle, monitor and baby alligator (just about GZ’s age). 

I thought the monitor was too similar (lizardy) to the alligator, and that they should have brought out a snake, but anyway, the kids were entertained.  When I told Naomi she’d have a chance to touch the animals, she said she wasn’t going to, which I said was perfectly okay.  But then when the presenter came around with the critters, she reached out fearlessly and patted them (except the turtle, which he showed but warned us not to touch, because it can snap).

I was incredibly impressed when the presenter referred to his PhD in herpetology.  I know somebody has to run a place like this, but it convinced me that the animals were being well-cared-for by extremely knowledgeable staff. 

That did mean his presentation was a little more detailed than the littles would have enjoyed; their attention wandered pretty early on before he got into the actual animal viewing.  But for YM and myself, I’m way happier with somebody who’s “overeducated” than with some teenager hired for the summer to wave the animals around and do party tricks with them.

Anyway, fun times had by all, followed by My Zeidy’s Pizza in the park.  Worth the cost of admission?  Well, I paid less than $20 for all four of us.  If I’d had to pay full price… maybe.  Maybe as a once-a-year outing.  Or a “bring-Bubby-along-and-see-if-she-pays” excursion.  If we invite my mother, usually she ends up paying.  I don’t plan it that way, it just happens.

Yesterday, we did Science Centre with Abigail and our expiring-on-Jun 30th library passes, and on Monday, it was Pioneer Village, in the off-and-on rain.  All 4 kids came both days, but Elisheva starts work for the first time ever tomorrow, so I indulged her “do-nothing day” though about 4:00 she admitted she was very, VERY bored, and went to do some gardening for my mother.

And that’s our week so far.

Supper is a hopeless morass of unremembered nondescript FOOD.

But tonight we had lovely frozen thick rice noodles, crispy-fried and served with a stir-fry of garden peas, onions, red pepper and chicken in a peanut-butter sauce.  Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Outdid myself once again!

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Photo in Israel

all of us and poch family in IsraelJust found this… the only picture of all of us taken in Israel.  We met Yehuda, an old friend of mine, for pizza one evening in Beit Shemesh.   It was really too cold to eat pizza outside (see how bundled up Elisheva is?).  They didn’t invite us in, even just to see their apartment, and his wife didn’t look or act like she really wanted company. 

Didn’t help that we showed up super-late from Yerushalayim, like 7:00 or something.  And all my kids were tired, crabby and hungry, plus worn-out from the bus ride, which sounded like it would be nothing much, but was actually quite a long way to commute.

And then they were stuck in this not-very-interesting plaza with kids we don’t know who aren’t really the same age, and, well… it was not the best evening.  I didn’t realize at the time, but it was my last night in Israel - Tuesday.

The pizza wasn’t even very good.

It was nice to reconnect, though we were never that good friends (he did drive me to U of T quite a bit, though!).  It was nice to speak English, and it was amazing having our own personal tour guide along the highway.  BUT I wore the Ergo instead of the stroller and gripping the handhold for dear life as the bus careened over mountains and through astonishing Biblical valleys shrouded in total darkness was extremely painful and not very fun.

The way back to Yerushalayim was a lot less stressful.  We had the bus basically to ourselves, and an assortment of tickets and whatnot… easy.

Thinking more about aliyah – someday.  Partly because of a talk Chana Veffer gave last week at the ladies’ Shalosh Seudos.  (they’re moving back there for good in August!)

Maybe, MAYBE someday.

Except... here’s my dumb hesitation:  the garden.

Nobody has a garden in Israel - everybody lives in apartments.

Is that a terrible thing to even hesitate over?

So I emailed him tonight asking if he could maybe set my mind at ease by letting me know if there is anywhere nice with English olim that might be “compatible” with us (in the wild differentiation of spiritual compatibility that grows there) ... and where it is possible to have a small amount of land where things could grow. 

Nothing too wild; I know somebody who’s gone off to live on a farm there, with goats.  No goats.  No wild.

ouryard It doesn't have to be huge.  Here’s our yard right now:

Wow!  I feel so insignificant! 

Sigh.  Surely, somewhere in Israel, there is, as Mary Lennox in The Secret Garden calls it, “a bit of earth,” for me to experiment with little tomato thingies.  I think knowing how to build smart, self-watering (sub-irrigated) planters super-cheap would probably come in handy there!

But still, this is just for the future, maybe far in the future. 

I just noticed as I started even thinking about aliyah that my mind said STOP over this one tiny issue... I'm worse than the meraglim.

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